A Crash Course on the Psyche of the Southland
Radio ads for best picture nominee “Crash” are excerpting this piece of dialogue: “In L.A., nobody touches you. We’re always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much that we crash into each other just so we can feel something.”
I’d like my car insurance agent to know that I definitely do NOT subscribe to this view. I try to keep the metal and glass of my Honda as unblemished as possible.
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Pondering L.A. (cont.): Some other bits of cinematic philosophy about the City of Angels:
* “You can’t hitchhike. This is L.A.” (“White Men Can’t Jump,” 1992)
* “Sure, the city isn’t perfect. We need a smut-free life for all our citizens, cleaner streets, better schools and a good hockey team.... “ (“Dragnet,” 1987)
* “I don’t want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light.” (“Annie Hall,” 1977)
* “Thirty inches of rain in two hours. The rest of the year is all sun.” (“I Ought to Be in Pictures,” 1982)
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Mr. Rage: Whittier psychologist Arnold Nerenberg, who calls himself “America’s Road Rage Therapist,” feels this problem could be reduced if someone developed “a standard sign of apology” for motorists to use on roadways. “The Department of Motor Vehicles needs to consider doing this.”
To help out the DMV, readers are invited to send this column suggestions (photos welcome but no one-finger salutes, please).
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Speaking of roadside problems: Banning the use of cellphones by drivers would make the freeways safer, I think. Even a prohibition on wireless vegetable instruments, such as the one spotted by Judith Hart of Rancho Palos Verdes, would be a start (see photo).
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One at a time, please: In Santa Barbara County, Phil Proctor of Beverly Hills found what he calls “the world’s smallest tasting room” (see photo).
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Right out of a Tweety Bird-Sylvester cartoon: Deloris St. John of Laguna Niguel wonders how noisy the waiting room of one pet clinic is (see photo).
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miscelLAny: Alan Simon of Sherman Oaks read that the Chinese government has come up with a unique way to reduce tourist graffiti on the Great Wall. For about $120, visitors are allowed to leave their mark on a fake brick, which is part of a fake wall near the real wall. “We hope this move will satisfy visitors’ desire of leaving something behind in China,” an official said.
Which gave Simon this idea: “What if we build fake walls here and charge taggers to tag? Sort of like making a movie set of L.A. for fame and profit.” I like it.
Now if Simon can just think of a way for L.A. to get a good hockey team.
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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.