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The Biggest Flop in Sports? It’s Soccer

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Times Staff Writer

One of Orlando Sentinel columnist Jerry Greene’s favorite things about the World Cup is the frequent on-field flailing of the participants.

“NBA players should be ashamed,” Greene wrote. “They can’t flop like these guys.

For the record:

12:00 a.m. July 1, 2006 For The Record
Los Angeles Times Saturday July 01, 2006 Home Edition Main News Part A Page 2 National Desk 1 inches; 47 words Type of Material: Correction
Pro basketball: The Morning Briefing trivia item Thursday in Sports said Damon Stoudamire was the first player ever drafted by Toronto. Stoudamire was the first player chosen by the team in the NBA draft, but four days earlier, it picked B.J. Armstrong in the 1995 expansion draft.

“Soccer guys flop and drop, then scream and roll, begging to see their dear old mums before they go.

“Then they are carted to the sidelines -- where they jump off the stretcher and race back onto the field. Broadway doesn’t see that kind of drama.”

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Trivia time: Who was the first player ever drafted by the Toronto Raptors, who had the top overall pick in Wednesday night’s NBA selection process?

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Of course they did: After FIFA.com was flooded with 4.2 million angry messages from South Korea about referees’ calls in the Koreans’ 2-0 World Cup loss to Switzerland, soccer’s ruling body was forced to block incoming e-mail from that Asian nation. Said Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: “FIFA’s website techies, in keeping with soccer tradition, covered their groins and formed a firewall.”

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Baby, it’s cold outside: Robert Tychkowski of the Edmonton Sun was taken aback when Oilers defenseman Chris Pronger, citing his wife’s dislike for the city, asked to be traded after leading the team’s improbable run to the Stanley Cup finals.

“They can’t take it anymore,” Tychkowski wrote of the Prongers. “The Stanley Cup drive, the incredible scenes at Rexall Place, the hero worship and the endless supply of money are nice and all, but not enough to actually have to live in Edmonton eight months out of the year.”

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Slow-speed pursuit: Mitch Albom of the Detroit Free Press, expressing his admiration for Joe Glass, agent for the recently fired coach of the New York Knicks: “I have watched you take Larry Brown from Denver to New Jersey to San Antonio to Los Angeles to Indiana to Philadelphia to Detroit to New York. Wow? Where I come from, you only move that much if the cops are chasing you.”

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Ain’t too proud to quake: Wrote Simon Barnes of the London Times, regarding England’s underwhelming march into the World Cup quarterfinals: “The only people trembling in their boots have been England’s supporters, from their customary position behind the sofa.”

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Wizardry of Oz: Manager Ozzie Guillen of the Chicago White Sox, on his team’s catcher, A.J. Pierzynski: “If you play against A.J., you hate him. If you play with him, you hate him less.”

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Looking past: On this date 50 years ago, in the U.S. Olympic trials at the Coliseum, Charles Dumas of Inglewood cleared 7 feet 1/2 inch in the high jump, becoming the first to break the so-called seven-foot barrier.

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Trivia answer: Arizona point guard Damon Stoudamire, who was the seventh overall pick in the 1995 draft, averaged 19 points and 9.3 assists in his first season with the expansion team and was the NBA’s ‘95-96 rookie of the year.

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And finally: Stephen Colbert of Comedy Central’s “The Colbert Report,” on what he likes best about soccer: “It’s the only sport that leaves your hands free for obscene gestures.”

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