These Are Some of the Best Darn Moments

FSN’s 1,000th episode of “Best Damn Sports Show Period” airs tonight, prompting this look back at some memorable quotes from that show:

In November 2004, months after the end of a tumultuous Laker season, Phil Jackson said of his decision to write a book:

“I wrote the book for myself because if I ever wanted to come back to coaching, I’d look at last season and tell myself, ‘You’re crazy -- stay out of it.’ ”

Apparently, Jackson forgot to take another look at his book before he decided to come back this season.

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Trivia time: On the first episode of “Best Damn Sports Show Period,” July 23, 2001, the featured guest was a Pro Football Hall of Fame running back. Who? Hint: He wore No. 32.

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Good question: Actor Charlie Sheen, who starred in the 1989 movie “Major League,” was on the show in 2004 when he said he’d trade an Oscar for one major league at-bat.

Tom Arnold, then a co-host, said, “Whose Oscar would you give them?”

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Socking it to ‘em: After the Boston Red Sox won the World Series in 2004, first baseman Kevin Millar went on the show and said he and his teammates kept warm in the dugout by drinking shots of Jack Daniel’s whiskey and Crown Royal.

Was he serious?

Well, consider this: Of pitcher Curt Schilling’s bloodstained sock, Millar said, “It was a red Sharpie; I actually colored it in.”

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Bargaining power: Bryan Cox, who won a Super Bowl ring as a linebacker with the New England Patriots in the 2001 season, was a regular on the show and once said, “I’ve had conversations with Dan Marino where he said he’d give half of his money for a [Super Bowl] ring. I said, ‘You can buy mine.’ ”

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Logistical response: Bob Knight, on what he tells his players after losing a big game: “Get on the bus.”

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Good self-analysis: Ron Artest, while sitting out his suspension from the NBA last season after the melee at the Palace at Auburn Hills, said, “I want to play for the United States team in the Olympics. ... I’m a American. I might not be a class act, but I’m an American.”

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Over the limit: After Jeff Gordon won the Daytona 500 in 2005, show regular John Salley said, “Now, I love NASCAR, but there’s one thing I don’t understand. A white guy drives 200 miles an hour, they give him a trophy. I drive 57 in a 55, and I wind up on ‘Cops.’ ”

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Looking back: On this day in 1973, Robyn Smith became the first female jockey to win a stakes race when she rode North Sea to victory in the Paumonok Handicap at Aqueduct in New York.

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Trivia answer: Jim Brown.

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And finally: Former New York Giant Lawrence Taylor, when he was on “Best Damn Sports Show Period” in December 2003, was asked if he put everything in his autobiography.

“Not everything,” Taylor said. “My closet has some closets.”

Larry Stewart can be reached at larry.stewart@latimes.com.