Stern takes fight to CBS’ backyard

Howard Stern had a nervous breakdown -- er, we mean to say, had his 15th appearance on CBS’ “Late Show With David Letterman” on Monday night.

In case you haven’t heard, Sirius radio star Stern, who’s battling a $218-million breach of contract suit from former employer CBS, turned up on Letterman with his “I Hate Les Moonves Tour,” directed at the man who runs CBS.

Stern wore a T-shirt complete with a picture of Moonves and his wife, “Early Show” cohost Julie Chen.

“I believe you are working for one of the biggest jerks on the planet,” Stern told Letterman. “I’m not going to let Les Moonves do to me what he did to Dan Rather,” referring to the former anchor of “CBS Evening News.”

When Letterman brought up Moonves’ success at CBS, Stern shot back: “Don’t defend him. He’ll sue you next.”

Some thoughts about this broadcast, which promised to be juicy but ended up more awkward than anything else:

* Stern looked genuinely angry. His jaw was clenched, voice tense, body language rigid. He couldn’t focus on the funny, not even when Letterman drew him out to talk about plastic surgery. The imitation of Moonves smacking his lips, as well as the repeated complaints about Moonves’ attendance at parties (whaaaa?), seemed more desperate than persuasive or amusing. What happened to the guy who descended from the rafters in a Fartman costume? Who donned drag for a book cover? The bravado was gone. If we didn’t know better, we’d say the CBS suit already succeeded in one way, by knocking Stern off stride. C’mon, Howard: It’s a lawsuit, for Pete’s sake, not a cancer diagnosis. Lawsuits are part of the game in the media biz. Yuk it up.

* Letterman did a bang-up job. He put himself in a nearly impossible situation, trapped between a famously vindictive boss and a ranting, monomaniacal guest, and managed to focus Stern’s lunatic ravings while offering a defense, however half-hearted, of Moonves, a man Letterman is known not to love. Making it all funny proved a tougher challenge, although he had a nice moment with Stern’s “I Hate Les Moonves” T-shirt. When Stern said he couldn’t make light of the legal situation, Letterman rejoined: “That explains the shirt.” Even Stern laughed.

Has ‘Sopranos’ bada-binged?

The numbers for Sunday’s sixth-season premiere of HBO’s “The Sopranos” rolled in Tuesday morning, and they might be enough to send Tony scuttling back to Dr. Melfi.

“Sopranos” gathered 9.5 million viewers, down 21% compared with the fifth-season premiere two years ago, according to figures from Nielsen Media Research.

Among ages 18 to 49, the drop-off was more pronounced, with a 4.5 rating/10 share, off 27% compared with 2004. It was the least-watched “Sopranos” season opener since January 2000, although it was the week’s top-rated cable show.

At 10 p.m., HBO’s new polygamy drama, “Big Love,” had 4.6 million viewers for a none-too-impressive 48% retention of the “Sopranos” audience.

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