Ah, the Overly Sweet Smell of Excess

In his West Hollywood neighborhood, novelist John Morgan Wilson noticed that the new Gendarmie “image spa” offers a line of fragrances, “with seven created especially for the L.A. lifestyle.”

“They’re named after the seven deadly sins: Vanity, Lust, Greed, Rage, Sloth and Envious [not Envy]. Oh, and the seventh: Since everyone’s on a diet in L.A., they call it Excess rather than Gluttony.”

Wilson couldn’t help wondering whether “Rage” was for drivers.

Does L.A. have it all or what? This area even is No. 1 when it comes to designer pets, especially designer pet furniture. Young Japanese tourists, seeking to emulate Hollywood celebrities, are especially interested in the doggie divan genre, says Carol Martinez of the L.A. Convention and Visitors Bureau.

Even as we speak, a Japanese film crew is here covering “dogs as a fashion accessory,” she said. “They did a doggie makeover and visited doggie bakeries and doggie jewelry stores.” Small designer pets, and small designer pet furniture, are popular in Japan, Martinez said, because the homes are smaller.

Only in L.A. Swimsuit Issue! Well, not exactly. But I am saluting the Memorial Day weekend, and the coming of those crazy, lazy days of you know what, with the following (see photos):

* A reminder to be careful of fins both in the water and on the highway (from Elmar Baxter).

* And to watch out for cruise ships on the 405.

* A warning to motel guests who want to swim out of view of the other guests (from John Goodlad).

* A warning to motel guests who specialize in low diving.

* And, finally, the weekday dilemma facing every employed surfer dude (from Elaine Gardner).

He just couldn’t take the high prices any longer? The crime log of the Los Alamitos News-Enterprise said a man was seen stumbling down the street in Cypress, then lying down behind a gasoline price sign.

miscelLAny: A group of retired media types who call themselves the OFS (for Old Fuds Society, or something like that) has been meeting at a Burbank restaurant for several years. But OFS boss Jerry Clark told the members they’ll have to find a new luncheon spot because the building is being converted -- into a Social Security office.

“Hey,” someone shouted, “can’t we keep on meeting here? We qualify.”