Face Value

It is a pitching duel symbolic not only of a series and a summer, but a forever funky relationship.

On the mound for the San Diego Padres tonight is an old guy who once claimed he threw a perfect game while “half-drunk.”

On the mound for the Dodgers is an old guy who has won 330 games looking perfectly sober.

On the mound for the Padres is an old guy who once injured himself by falling off a barstool.

On the mound for the Dodgers is an old guy who has stayed healthy enough to pitch at least 199 innings for 18 consecutive seasons.

For the Padres, it’s David Wells, brash enough to have once taken the field wearing Babe Ruth’s cap.

For the Dodgers, it’s Greg Maddux, too modest to even wear his own jersey.

Wells, age 43 going on 13.

Maddux, age 40 going on Cooperstown.

It is a matchup perfect for the mind-set of these Southern California neighbors as they get together for a weekend block party around a pinata that could hold the National League West championship.

It’s pin-striped suits vs. plaid slacks. It’s Cole Hahns vs. flip-flops.

It’s fettuccine alfredo vs. fish tacos. It’s six World Series championships vs. well, um, Sea World.

It’s Dodgers vs. Padres in a rivalry that, for the next four days, will take on Giant proportions.

“The Dodgers have always been the established team, the Padres have always been the expansion team,” said Buzzie Bavasi, who has run both clubs. “The Dodgers never believed they could lose to the Padres, and the Padres have never quite believed they could beat the Dodgers.”

The Dodgers were once run by Peter O’Malley, who would personally answer the switchboard phone.

The Padres were once run by a man, Chub Feeney, who flipped an obscene gesture to fans on Fan Appreciation day.

The Dodgers Hall of Famers are remembered in solemnly retired jerseys.

The Padres’ future Hall of Famer, Tony Gwynn, once discovered jealous teammates had crafted his likeness into a voodoo doll.

The national anthem at Dodger Stadium was once sung by Frank Sinatra.

The national anthem in San Diego was once sung by Rosanne Barr, who grabbed her crotch and spit.

The Dodgers had Tom Lasorda.

The Padres had Kurt Bevacqua.

After one of the Padres was hit by a Dodgers pitch in 1984, Bevacqua said, “They ought to fine that fat little Italian.... He ordered it.”

Lasorda responded, “Bevacqua, who couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat ... I guarantee you this ... when I pitched and I was gonna pitch against a team that had guys on it like Bevacqua, I’d send a limousine to make sure he was in the lineup.”

It took a Dodger, Steve Garvey, to lead the Padres to their first World Series appearance.

It took a Dodgers catcher, Carlos Hernandez, to help the Padres to their second World Series appearance.

And another Dodgers catcher, Mike Piazza, is helping them now.

What is the most notable thing the Padres have given the Dodgers in return?

Two words. Kevin Brown.

“Even in years the Padres played well against the Dodgers, it’s always felt like the Dodgers were the big team, and the Padres were chasing them,” Bavasi said.

In the last decade, as the Padres lost the mustard uniforms and gained new front-office direction, the relationship has slowly changed.

Ten years ago, on the last weekend of the season, the Padres swept the Dodgers in Dodger Stadium to steal the division title.

I had earlier written that, given the Padres’ history, such an achievement was impossible. Their players doused me in cold champagne and icy stares as a reward.

Several years ago, the Padres had become secure enough to openly chuckle when new Dodgers general manager Kevin Malone called himself the new sheriff.

They posed their media guide cover boys in sheriff outfits. When the Dodgers were in town, their stadium loudspeaker blared, “I Shot the Sheriff.”

Two seasons ago, knuckles were further bared when Padres General Manager Kevin Towers ripped the Dodgers in spring training.

“You always think they’ll be good, and they end up finding a way to not finish in first place,” he said at the time. “They’ve always had a lot of talent, but for some reason, when you play them, they don’t seem to play well together. It seemed like it was more character than anything.”

Towers was right. The Dodgers were furious, and won a division championship in spite of him, but he was still right.

Then came this season, with the Padres winning 11 of the first 14 games between the two teams, outscoring the Dodgers, 77-44, and here we are.

“They win this weekend, they beat them out this season, I think the perception changes forever,” Bavasi said.

And it could happen, because the Padres are showing up as loose as David Wells’ belt, and the Dodgers are as tight as Greg Maddux’s stare.

With two weeks left in the season, the teams are tied for first in the loss column -- 69 apiece -- but it is the Dodgers who are in knots.

The Dodgers have lost seven of 12 games in September. They just lost two games with two blown leads in Chicago.

Jeff Kent has forgotten his home-run swing. Andre Ethier has remembered he’s a rookie. The inconsistent starting rotation has been Kuoed and Stultsed. The bullpen ERA is more than a half-run worse than the Padres’ bullpen ERA.

It is the Padres who are looking like the best of the Dodgers.

Towers has matched Ned Colletti, deal for deal. Bruce Bochy has matched Grady Little, move for move.

Remember when Orel Hershiser broke the consecutive scoreless innings record in San Diego? The Padres have a guy, reliever Cla Meredith, who currently has 33 2/3 scoreless innings.

Remember when Dave Roberts was a blast in the Dodgers outfield? He’s doing that same stuff for the Padres.

As Eric Gagne has disappeared, Trevor Hoffman has been reborn.

As Brad Penny has struggled with a 5.26 ERA since August, Jake Peavy has shined with a 2.43 ERA during that time.

And now, tonight, in round one, the heavyweights, Wells versus Maddux, the Padres charging out of the corner, the Dodgers leaning against the ropes, a rivalry on the brink.

Bill Plaschke can be reached at bill.plaschke@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Plaschke, go to latimes.com/plaschke.

*

Showdown at Dodger Stadium

Setting up the weekend series between the Dodgers and Padres:

*--* Greg Maddux RHP TONIGHT 7:30 p.m., PRIME David Wells LHP (2-3, 4.81) (12-13, 4.38) Chad Billingsley RHP SATURDAY 7 p.m., PRIME Woody Williams RHP (8-5, 3.79) (5-3, 3.02) Derek Lowe RHP (14-8, SUNDAY 1 p.m., PRIME Chris Young RHP (10-5, 3.77) 3.77) Brad Penny RHP (16-8, MONDAY 7 p.m., PRIME Jake Peavy RHP (9-14, 4.17) 4.04)

*--*