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Did Kobe get lost in translation?

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Times Staff Writer

Basketball fans in China today are asking themselves the same question we are asking here: Who will be hoisting the NBA championship trophy in June -- the German Race Car, the Man in the Mask, the Stone Buddha, Warrior, the Little Tyrant or the Little Emperor?

As any NBA fan with a global perspective -- and a Chinese translator -- knows, the players in question are Dirk Nowitzki, Richard Hamilton, Tim Duncan, Shaquille O’Neal, Amare Stoudemire and LeBron James.

These are a few of the translated nicknames Chinese fans have for NBA players, according to NBA.com.

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Some of the nicknames are obvious: Nowitzki moves on the court like a German race car, Hamilton is quite literally a man in a mask, O’Neal is a “righteous and respectful warrior,” and Duncan is “very strong and calm, just like Buddha.”

Little Tyrant? According to NBA.com, that goes to Stoudemire because he is “young and in [a] dominating role in the paint area.” Little Emperor? That’s a direct translation from the English-language nickname that already belongs to James, “King James.”

There are no Lakers nicknames on the NBA.com list. But did you know that according to the Chinese calendar, this is the Year of the Ball Hog?

Trivia time

Which players from the above list are scheduled to participate in a series of exhibition games in China in October?

Week 14 Power Rankings

This was the week Michael Phelps learned that he has nothing to fear except another relay with Ian Crocker....

1. Phelps: Sure, but let’s see him crack Florida’s starting lineup.

2. Florida Gators: Back to you, Urban Meyer.

3. UCLA Bruins: Can they make it three Final Fours in succession? With Kevin Love on board, let’s just say -- pardon the expression -- they have a shot.

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4. Masters: Those who didn’t make the cut sentenced to watching “Jim Nantz Remembers Augusta” on a continuous loop.

5. Billy Donovan: The Memphis Grizzlies wanted him, but let’s get serious. In terms of talent available to him, he’d be moving to the junior varsity.

6. Dana Altman: Creighton hoops coach signs with Arkansas, then changes his mind when he realizes Arkansas is in Arkansas.

7. Phil Jackson: He makes the Hall of Fame; Dick Vitale does not. By that much this week, we averted the Apocalypse.

8. Roger Clemens: Gets to miss all of spring training, then gets to sit back and observe awhile before deeming which team is worthy of overpaying him for half a season of his services. It’s good to be the king.

9. Chicago Cubs for sale: Of course someone is going to buy them. Their fans have been buying “We’ll win another World Series someday” for the last 99 years.

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10. Carolina Hurricanes eliminated from playoffs: So the 2006 Stanley Cup champions were one-and-done flukes. Funny, never saw that one coming.

Keep Old Cat away from Little Flying Mouse

Other Chinese NBA nicknames include:

Old Cat (for Cuttino Mobley): It’s a direct translation from the English nickname, “The Cat.”

King of the Cats (for Emeka Okafor): The leader of the Bobcats.

Little Flying Mouse (for Damon Stoudamire): “For his speed and the ability to pass through opposing players.”

Sweet Melon (for Carmelo Anthony): “The nickname ‘Melo’ resembles ‘Melon.’ ‘Sweet Melon’ also refers to Carmelo’s sweet and cute appearance.”

The Key Man (for Robert Horry): For his ability to make key baskets.

According to NBA.com, Grant Hill’s Chinese nickname is “Mr. Nice,” which is a direct translation from the English nickname ... “Mr. Nice.”

The Giant wears Prada

In between moving across the bay from the Oakland Athletics to the San Francisco Giants, Barry Zito had a uniform change of another kind -- dressing up as Paula Abdul for a spring training fundraiser called “Giants Idol.” Asked about it on the “Best Damn Sports Show Period,” Zito said, “I got duped into it, but I tried to have a good spirit about it. Some other guys were going to do it, [Armando] Benitez and [Mark] Sweeney, but they bailed out [at the] last minute.”

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Zito then quipped, “So I took one for the team, even though I do usually dress up in women’s clothes on my own.”

Trivia answer

The Cleveland Cavaliers and Miami Heat will play a total of three games in Shanghai and Macao in October, probably taking “Little Emperor” James and “Warrior” O’Neal along with them.

And finally

According to the “Amazing But True Golf Facts Desk Calendar,” Tom Shuell, associate professor of mathematics at Concordia University in Portland, Ore., calculated that it would take 24,781,341 golf balls to fill the 130-foot Outback Steakhouse blimp seen overhead at some golf events.

It must be true. Who’s going to prove him wrong?

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mike.penner@latimes.com

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