THE TIMES’ TOP 25

*--* Rk. Team Comment 1 USC Emergency meeting called to determine who goofed in not recruiting enough tailbacks. 2

WEST

VIRGINIA Campus shrink complains all the good couches have been burned. 3 LOUISIANA STATE Misses Tennessee/Georgia on schedule but not Ole Miss/Mississippi State. 4 FLORIDA Talk of Gators winning the title again is all blather, rinse and repeat. 5 WISCONSIN Players refuse to say “Cheese” for wise-guy team photographer. 6 MICHIGAN If this is Carr’s last season . . . well, we suppose that’s what it will be. 7 UCLA Expectations so high Dorrell may coach this season in elevator shoes. 8 TEXAS Injury reports confirm receivers are dropping like flies off Bevo. 9 OKLAHOMA So ticked off we’re not sure you want to be standing in its way. 10 LOUISVILLE Ex-coach now in Atlanta offers two first-round draft picks for Brohm. 11 VIRGINIA TECH Talk about a school that can’t wait for the season to get started. 12 FLORIDA STATE Hopes offense will get Jumbo-sized by hiring coordinator Jimbo. 13 CALIFORNIA Top-selling smoothie this week is “Tennessee Orange/Strawberry Canyon.” 14 GEORGIA Nine-year-old Uga VI so old he may work from press box this season. 15 PENN STATE Paterno announces first play for Sunday’s workout will be “Cleanup on Aisle 4, Section A.” 16 HAWAII Offense could make more points this year than Christopher Hitchens. 17 RUTGERS First appearance in Rankman’s preseason poll since 1869. 18 BOISE STATE Five straight WAC titles and all anyone wants to talk about is the wedding. 19 OHIO STATE Ginn’s ankle is fine now and he’s ready to go back in the Florida game. 20 TENNESSEE Coach warns players not to rile up any “intellectuals” on trip to Berkeley. 21 TEXAS CHRISTIAN Rankman probably underestimating school’s actual Fort Worth worth. 22 IOWA Dodging Ohio State and Michigan on schedule is like dodging Grant and Sherman. 23 NEBRASKA USC told this year’s complimentary pregame meal is soy bean meatloaf. 24 AUBURN “So, ya’ll hired a $4-million coach down there in Tuscaloosa?” 25 ALABAMA “Yep, and if we don’t beat you guys soon, we’ll hire a $5-million one.” *--*