Nothing says love like meat

They do things differently in Milwaukee, as the advertisement for the last-minute can’t-fail Valentine’s Day gift suggested.

“Serenade Your Sweetie With Sausages” read the blurb on MLB.com’s auctions page, and really, what can one say after that?

Up for auction was a visit by the Milwaukee Brewers’ “Famous Klement’s Racing Sausages” to the residence or workplace of a loved one, with the sausages commissioned to deliver a special Valentine’s present.

Opening bid: $650.

That seems a lot to pay to have four strangers dressed as a hot dog, a bratwurst, a Polish sausage and a German sausage go prowling the premises of that special someone, looking for pets and children to scare.

So the Brewers are throwing in four club-level tickets to a game during the team’s April 18-22 homestand at Miller Park -- just in case the winner wants to invite someone to come along to cheer and jeer during the lucky couple’s romantic floodlight dinner-for-two over brats, beer and peanuts.

Trivia time

What do pitcher Hideo Nomo, former big-league first baseman Mark Grace and NFL wide receiver Javon Walker have in common?

Raging Bull?

Rumor: Zinedine Zidane is considering a move to the New York Red Bulls of Major League Soccer.

Fact: The Red Bulls are named after and sponsored by the energy drink of the same name.

Fact: Zidane is a soccer player of world-class skills, with a temper to match.

Fact: Zidane was ejected from the 2006 World Cup final for angrily head-butting an opposing player.

Fact: Zidane was red-carded during the first round of the 1998 World Cup for stomping on an opposing player.

Fact: Zidane has been ejected 14 times during his professional career.

Fact: Red Bull is loaded with caffeine and taurine and has been known to cause somewhat intense reactions during moments of physical exertion.

Just wondering: Anybody else thinking this might not be such a great idea?

Beckham item of the day

The English tabloid the Sun reports that David Beckham is headed back to Manchester United ... for a charity match.

According to the story, Beckham will join a team of European Union all-stars scheduled to play against a United side March 13. The match is to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the Treaty of Rome.

There is no truth to the rumor that Beckham, currently a part-timer at Real Madrid, secured his place on the all-star team through an auction.

Trivia answer

Each of them has participated in the Sausage Race, which is held during the sixth inning of every Brewers home game.

And finally

Notre Dame football Coach Charlie Weis is angered by the defection of recruits who orally committed to the Irish before changing their minds and jumping to different programs. That is why he is pushing for an additional signing date sometime during summer.

“If you’re married,” Weis told the Chicago Tribune, “you shouldn’t be looking at other women.”

mike.penner@latimes.com