Wrestling with Bryant, who’s tough to pin down

LAS VEGAS -- Never saw this one coming.

I’m on vacation, spending time with the 7-Eleven Kid, learning a lot about “time out,” so knowing what I do about babies, I thought why not take a day off from vacation and check on the Kobester.

Team USA is meeting here, and when practice concludes, the media talks to the players. I join the mob surrounding Kobe Bryant, taking valuable time away from the wave pool, and someone asks, “What does it mean to put on that jersey?”

I figure here we go, the baby crying right from the start because he’s wearing No. 27 and someone else has No. 24, but he says, “It means everything ... being in this position now to represent our country, is special.”

It’s a friendly gathering, because no one wants to irritate the superstar, so someone wants to know why he’s lost 19 pounds, like everyone can’t figure it out -- you’re going to lose weight running from radio station to radio station while fretting about your future.

He says he’s 200 for the first time since ’98. He says he ate a pepperoni pizza, had a grape soda, felt bloated, tried to do some running and felt a little heavy. The fear of being the next kid to go on Shaq’s TV show was apparently too much for him.

He says what you expect him to say about the refereeing scandal, and then someone lobs him a softball: “How are things back home with the Lakers?”

“Right now I just want to keep focus on what we’re accomplishing here,” he says, and dodgeball seems to be his new game of choice.

“Will you be at training camp?” someone asks, and instead of saying, “Of course,” he says, “When the time is right, I’ll be more than glad to address that.”

I’ve kept quiet so far, because I figure that’s the way he likes it, and no reason to put a quick end to this little cheery soiree, but I can’t take any more.

“Have you apologized to Dr. Buss for calling him an idiot?”

“Excuse me,” he says, while turning to see who is asking the question, and who is now repeating the same question.

“Dr. Buss and I have had several conversations,” he says without a hint of exasperation. “But we want to keep things between ourselves.”

“Don’t you think your image has suffered by coming across as a baby?”

“Yeah, I had a whole bunch of pacifiers sent to me; one of them was actually sent from you,” he jokes, and for the first time in two years we’re not only having a cordial conversation, but he’s poking me in the ribs like everything is cool.

Someone else asks about the Lakers, but he won’t go there, so I say it’s his fault. “You gave a mixed message to everyone.”

“Yeah, I understand it would seem like that,” he says.

“Was it a mixed message?”

“Absolutely,” he says. “I think if I had to go back and do things differently I would. The right thing to do now is try to handle the situation the right way.” My, my -- they do grow up fast.

“Do you think “Fisher, Mihm, Crittenton and Walton are a championship upgrade?”

“I think they’re a hell of a basketball great addition,” he says, and that sounds like a different tune being sung.

“I think it was important to keep Luke, and Fisher and I talk all the time. We’re extremely close. I’m extremely happy for him and for his family. I’m happy for Chris as well. I reached out to him because he went through a lot; that was the worst ankle injury I’ve seen.”

“Does this satisfy your misgivings about this team’s ability to win?”

“Right now is not the time to talk about that,” he says.

“All you have to say is ‘I’m going to be playing for the Lakers.’ ”

“I know what you’re saying,” he replies, but he says he’s not going to be a distraction -- even though saying nothing makes him a continuing distraction.

Someone asks about the chances of the Lakers still making the roster more appealing to him, and he says, “It’s not really about me. It’s just what Mitch [Kupchak] and them feel they need to do to improve the club; you need to ask them.”

He hears my voice again, yet doesn’t bristle. Next weekend we’ll probably be double-dating. “Have you come to the point where you’re resigned to playing for the Lakers?”

“I know you’re like me on a basketball court,” he says. “I try to figure out every possible angle to score, and that’s what you’re doing and I respect that. You try to figure your way through traps and double teams, but I’m just not going there.”

“Don’t you think Laker fans would like to know what’s going on?” But that gets nothing. “Come on, you came across as a big baby, so here’s your chance ... “

“You’re going to [call me] that anyway,” he says, and sometimes it’s hard to argue with the guy.

Someone asks whether he’s spoken to Phil Jackson, and he says he has, and so I want to know if he told Phil he’s happy.

“I went fishing and he was fishing, so we were both happy,” he says.

I try a different tack.

“I take it your positive comments about the team’s signings make a difference?”

“I love every one of those guys,” he says.

“Did you apologize to Andrew Bynum?”

“Yeah, I spoke to Andrew. We’re fine.”

“I worry about the reputation of [ESPN’s] Ric Bucher, your spokesman, who says you will never play in a Laker uniform again. What do you make of that?”

“Why don’t you go to the craps table and blow off some steam?” the Kobester jokes.

“The newspaper here says you were spotted snacking on frozen grapes at the Bare pool lounge, the topless place at the Mirage -- is that a good place to blow off steam?”

“The what?” he says. “I’m everywhere. I was in Yugoslavia yesterday. You listen to people, I’m everywhere.”

Interview over, and the Kobester adds, “Say hi to Tracy and Fred.”

Sure thing, and maybe next week we’ll all get together on the morning radio show away from Team USA and make some sense out of all this. Yeah, right.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at

t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.