Howland’s spunk aside, Bruins are Gator bait

If UCLA beats Florida in the Final Four on Saturday, I remain in Atlanta for the championship game Monday night, and miss the Angels’ opener.

Now I appreciate the fact this makes Mike Scioscia a big fan of the Bruins, but I fully expect to be in Anaheim for Monday’s first pitch.

Ben Howland has done the coaching job of the season, taking three great perimeter players and two average tall guys, who are vertically challenged in comparison to the big players on the other three remaining teams in the tournament, and has gotten this far. Give him a raise.

If Florida isn’t so dominant, Howland is probably going after his third consecutive national title next season and the Angels get a Page 2 reprieve.

But I believe Florida remains an insurmountable roadblock.

Mention that to Howland, and his eyes light up, while giving you that “we’ll show you” stare of his. So go ahead, show us.

Howland is a fighter, all right, intense from start to finish and he will push his charges to give everything they have, but five against three is never fair. And Florida has five outstanding starters. Too many O’s for Howland’s Xs.

UCLA couldn’t figure out how to stop Florida a year ago, the excuse being there wasn’t enough time to prepare, and while I realize there is motivation in the quest for revenge, maybe next year with Kevin Love manning the middle.

I watched the “basketball” highlight package in the Bruins’ Spirit Theater on Tuesday, and while the announcer proclaimed, “UCLA basketball is back,” he was doing so over the top of UCLA’s amazing victory over Gonzaga. No mention of Florida whatsoever.

I believe this season’s highlight package will end again with no mention of Florida, while dwelling on the Bruins’ gritty win over Kansas. If I’m wrong, I know this -- the Angels will be thrilled.

BY THE way, Howland picked Georgetown to beat Ohio State, which means Florida whips Georgetown for the national title.

YOU CAN’T make this stuff up.

I call the Tipper Gore Lady on Tuesday, you know the team’s publicist, because we had such a good time talking parking at Dodger Stadium a day earlier and because a number of e-mailers want to let the Dodgers know how unhappy they are with the new plan.

The first thing she says to me -- she’s sick. Really sick. And blames me.

Between sniffles, she says the chilly walk across the stadium parking lot Monday morning to show me that the general public Lots 1 & 2 weren’t that far away did her in.

“I just hope it isn’t contagious whatever you’ve got,” I say.

“Well, I hope it is,” she replies, and the Dodgers have always approached public relations differently than most teams.

Had we brought provisions and enough water, we might’ve made it to Lots 1 & 2 on Monday. But we only got close enough to see them on the horizon before turning around.

“I would’ve kept going,” she insists, “but you were griping.”

I’ve just never had a desire to walk a marathon, but thinking about it now, if the walk across the parking lot did in the team’s public relations director, I worry now about the pandemic potential for disaster here. Just how many Dodgers fans are we going to lose this season trying to make the same walk?

“I wish you would make the point of telling everyone general admission parking has always been the same as it is now,” the Tipper Gore Lady says, which is really hard to do, because it hasn’t always cost fans $15 to park.

“The walk from the general admission lots is the same as always,” she croaks and wheezes, and how would she know? -- she never got that far Monday.

The new plan, she says, is designed to make parking more efficient. The Dodgers believe they can do this by keeping everyone in their place, actually setting up barricades to separate the poor from those who can afford season tickets.

To explain all this, the Dodgers will give each arriving motorist a glossy brochure to explain the new plan. Just imagine the traffic jam while everyone looks over the brochure.

The biggest change, besides the price, will be the “human beings” as the Tipper Gore Lady calls them, who will insist you obey them.

“Will they be armed?” I ask.

“Come on,” she croaks, but then adds, “we’ll have security,” and machine gun nests, I presume, situated atop each gate to make sure no one exits the wrong gate.

The plan doesn’t go into effect until Thursday, but a large number of Dodgers fans aren’t waiting to see how it goes. “Please excuse me while I vent,” says Doug McIsaac, one of many to e-mail, upset that 30 years of wasted tricks learning how to beat the traffic will now go to waste.

Mention the new plan, and the “human beings” who will be telling everyone where to go, and McIsaac adds, “Try calling the Dodgers’ general number and see how long it takes to get a real person on the phone.”

Matthew Hines writes, “I wish there was a way to wager on the date when they revert back to the old system, yet continue to charge $15. I’d set the over/under at June 18th.”

The same day the Dodgers are eliminated from the playoffs?

JONATHAN BRAUN e-mailed to say, “It’s 12:27 p.m., and I just checked the Dodgers website and they still haven’t changed the name on the [baseball] card from Lou to Roy Campanella. Are you kidding me? Maybe the Tipper Gore Lady has no idea who Roy Campanella is. Let me know if you hear anything about ‘Robert Snyder’ or ‘Eric Koufax.’ ”

It’s 7:02 p.m., and the Dodgers’ website is still trying to sell Lou Campanella memorabilia for $99.99. At least by now, you would think the price would’ve been cut in half.

T.J. Simers can be reached

at t.j.simers@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.