Don’t lose a bonnet over this

It’s Kentucky Derby day, and everyone knows what that means. People are going to gamble.

Of course, people are going to gamble every day of the week (twice on Sundays, if possible), but today it’s on the Derby. And for that, you don’t have to be at Churchill Downs wearing a ridiculous hat, sipping a stiff mint julep while slurring the words to a Stephen Foster song that’s more than 150 years old.

With a click of the mouse you can have the Derby, or rather Derby wagering, without getting off the couch. On Bodog.com, you can wager what will be the higher number ...

... the length of victory at the Derby or the number of Alex Rodriguez hits today in the New York Yankees-Seattle Mariners game. (Tip: It’s May, not October; take Rodriguez.)

... the winner’s saddlecloth number or the total runs in today’s Yankees-Mariners game. (Tip: Mariners pitcher Jeff Weaver and his 18.26 earned-run average are on the mound today; bet against the saddlecloth.)

... the winner’s saddlecloth number or the number of blocks the Chicago Bulls’ Ben Wallace will have against the Detroit Pistons today. (Tip: Psst, hey Ben, Derby post is 3:04 p.m., your game starts at 4, call ya with the number at 3:45.)

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Trivia time

What is the highest finish of the five horses Yankees owner George Steinbrenner has sent to the Kentucky Derby?

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Odds and ends

Also on the board today: What will be a higher number, the winner’s saddlecloth number or the number of NHL goals today.

Not on the board: What will be higher, the winner’s saddlecloth number or the television ratings for today’s NHL games.

Alas, saddlecloth numbers don’t go below one.

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Hers has a tiara

The other sport of the Derby is the parade of hats.

Kirsten Johnson, owner of an equine rehabilitation center outside Lexington, Ky., told the Columbia News Service: “At the Derby, it is all over the top. It’s not a Sunday bonnet.”

Johnson said she would wear peacock feathers on her hat.

Still, the best anyone can do this year is place or show. Queen Elizabeth II, a professional hat wearer, will be dropping by Churchill Downs today.

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The king and I

The queen is scheduled to meet Richard Petty, who is flying in for the occasion at the special invitation of Kentucky Gov. Ernie Fletcher.

Word is the queen’s NASCAR license has expired, meaning she won’t be flying back to Richmond, Va., with Richard to get behind the wheel in tonight’s Nextel Cup race, where Petty has two cars entered.

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From the horse’s mouth

Steve Asmussen, trainer of Derby favorite Curlin, discussing the intangibles of the race, told Reuters: “The one thing we don’t know is the one thing nobody knows, ‘How are you going to run going a mile and a quarter with 150,000 people watching in a 20-horse field?’ Nobody knows that answer. That’s what makes it the Derby.”

To paraphrase, a horse is a horse, of course, of course ...

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Maybe Tom Brady can help

Meanwhile, Curlin’s jockey, Robby Albarado, has sought the advice of a childhood friend -- Carolina Panthers quarterback Jake Delhomme.

“I asked Jake if it’s possible to be too confident,” Albarado said this week. “He said, ‘Absolutely not. If you’re not confident, you’re not successful.’ He should know.”

He should, but then Delhomme didn’t win his “big one.” The Panthers lost Super Bowl XXXVIII.

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Trivia answer

A fifth-place finish by Steve’s Friend in 1977. No better than fifth and Edward Sexton, manager of Steinbrenner’s Kinsman Farms, still has his job?

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And finally

Merv Griffin was crestfallen at having to withdraw Cobalt Blue from the Derby, the second consecutive year he has had to withdraw a horse from consideration for the race. Griffin told the Racing Form, “I feel like the Susan Lucci of the Derby,” referring to the daytime soap opera star who was nominated for an Emmy 19 times before finally winning.

On the other hand, Griffin has 15 Emmys to Lucci’s one.

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chris.foster@latimes.com