Barhoppers can dive right in to the ambience

In a “Best Bars in America” feature, Esquire magazine salutes nine establishments in the L.A. area, including Brennan’s in Marina del Rey (home of Thursday night turtle races), Bordello on East 1st Street (whose building is said to have once been a house of ill repute), and the Redwood on West 2nd Street (praised as being “divy”).

Not sure if the “divy” part refers to its nautical-theme interior design or the newspaper types who patronize it.

Maybe both.

Easy for them to say: Obviously trying to elevate this column to a higher plane, Jon Longworth of Eagle Rock forwarded a scholarly e-mail that was headed: “GET YOUR UNIEVRSITY DIPLOMA.”

It read:

“Greetings Registrar!.! Absoltuely are no needed tests, classes, books, or interviews ! Capture a -- Bacheolrs, Masters., MBA, and Doctorate (PhD) diploma. Eran the dreams and applause -- thatc omes with a.diploma !No oen is told off. Conifdentiality questionless.”

Always stimulating to have an exchange of ideas.

Mangling the language (cont.): The other day I mentioned the local inmate who informed his jailers that he suffers from “great-grandma seizures” (he meant grand mal seizures).

Well, Maureen McConaghy of Orange recalls that when she was a welfare worker, she encountered a client who complained of having “roaches of the liver” (cirrhosis) and “very close veins” (varicose veins).

Mystery of the Day: In Idaho, Lisalee Anne Wells of Long Beach saw an unusual boots offer (see photo). Was it directed at skiers who can’t get their footwear off? Actually it was directed at drivers -- a threat that if they park their car in that area, it will be immobilized with a boot.

More ambiguous language: In case you’re wondering, Dan Reznick of San Diego points out that the “run until sold” line in a freebie magazine isn’t a reference to the automobiles themselves (see accompanying).

Nothing ambiguous here: While visiting Minnesota, Dave Chalberg of Sherman Oaks chanced upon an eye-catching floral display in the frontyard of one business (see photo).

Chalberg heard that the neighbors were not happy with the arrangement but that Mr. Jackson “was unwilling to be rooted out.”

Some welcome frankness: Chris Robinson of Long Beach passed along an address listing in a store ad with the comment, “Finally the truth!” (see accompanying). No offense to Commerce.

miscelLAny: I sent a friend an e-mail that bounced back to me with this notation: “64.111.207.5 does not like recipient.” You know, I always had a hunch that computers carry grudges.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.