BULLS’ NIGHT OUT

You know college football is more whooah than Nellie when the most important game of the week is on a Thursday night.

And that game is between South Florida and Rutgers.

You don’t buy generic peanut butter, I don’t buy unknown college football.

It is a sport not built on parity, it is a sport built on passion.

And how can anyone feel passion for a school called South Florida that isn’t actually located in south Florida, a No. 2-ranked team that has played half of its season like a Division II team, with wins against Elon, Florida Atlantic and Central Florida?

Nice people, good coach, but the way I feel about South Florida’s current position in the college football world can be summed up in their mascot.

Bull.

And then to have them steal the weekend with a midweek game against a team from an unpronounceable New Jersey city whose biggest wins have come against Buffalo, Navy and Norfolk State?

It may be fair, it may even be occasionally fun, but it’s just not right.

This is a USC-Notre Dame show, for Knute’s sake!

The bear of a game should have been Alabama-Tennessee!

Shouldn’t we be circling that brawl that is Miami-Florida State?

Those three traditionally great games will be played Saturday, yet none of them will probably figure into the national championship race, so all eyes will be on Piscata-whatever tonight to watch the Who’sthats battle the Somethingoranothers.

I miss great teams to hate. I miss creaky characters to love. I miss familiar fight songs and enduring stadiums and Bevo.

This college football season, I really miss college football.

And I’m not alone.

“Parity in college football is great for the coaches and players, but you have to look at the reality of it,” said Bob Davie, former Notre Dame coach and current ESPN broadcaster. “From a television and fan perspective, you need the traditional powers to be strong.”

College football needs USC and Notre Dame to be good like baseball needs the New York Yankees to be good.

College football needs Alabama and Penn State to be strong like basketball needs the Lakers to be strong.

Does college football really need third-ranked Boston College to play for a national title after a schedule that includes Army, Massachusetts and Bowling Green?

Does college football really need Steve Spurrier throwing down his visor for a school known as the Gamecocks?

And can’t college football just ship eighth-ranked Kentucky to Dick Vitale?

“The new kids on the block are nice, but they will always be fighting credibility,” Davie said. “They will always be met with high doses of skepticism.”

College football needs Goliaths, it needs George Gipps -- it doesn’t need teams that make us feel like we’ve been gypped.

Boise State’s win over Oklahoma last winter was wonderful, but it couldn’t compare to the shock of Florida’s stomping over Ohio State, and the awe of LSU’s crushing of Notre Dame.

Most experts agree that this year’s parity, from A (Appalachian State) to S (Stanford) comes from the NCAA-mandated decreased practice times combined with much of that practice time spent learning increasingly complicated offenses.

When a powerful team forgets fundamentals and loses discipline, the playing field against a lesser team is leveled.

“It’s not personnel, it’s people just not executing,” Davie said. “USC drops balls against Stanford. Michigan misses tackles against Appalachian State. Some teams spend so much practice time just teaching their players how to line up, there’s no time for other things.”

Beano Cook, college’s football’s broadcasting treasure, says not to worry.

“At the end of the day, there will still be no parity in football,” he said. “South Florida is like George Costanza. He gets lucky occasionally, but then he goes back to being George Costanza.”

Cook said that by the end of the season, the powerful teams will be in place, order will be restored, and college football will sigh.

“In the long run, traditional greatness always emerges,” he said. “Even at Notre Dame, which is like the Republican Party. They’re down right now, but they will come back.”

Until then, I will cheer for the rise of the Oklahomas and LSUs of the world, hope that South Florida isn’t injured too badly in its fall to earth, and acknowledge that, yes, on rare occasions, tradition tanks.

Ohio State No. 1? After being embarrassed in last year’s title game, then beating the likes of Youngstown State, Akron and Kent State this year?

I’d rather have South Florida play Boston College for the national title than see Ohio State within 1,000 miles of New Orleans.

But even then, only if the game could be broadcast by Keith Jackson, who would then properly summarize this season as one big ugly.

Bill Plaschke can be reached at bill.plaschke@latimes.com. To read previous columns by Plaschke, go to latimes.com/plaschke.