Up is down, down is up, and then there’s Dorrell

That Florida State player wasn’t the only person stunned in a bar over the weekend.

Let’s see if we have all this straight:

The Florida quarterback ran for 166 yards in a victory against Mississippi. The Washington quarterback ran for 92 yards in a loss to UCLA. And the Notre Dame quarterback ran for cover after the Fighting Irish fell to 0-4 for the first time in school history.

One week after Utah embarrassed UCLA, 44-6, in Salt Lake City, Utah was shut out at Nevada Las Vegas, 27-0.

Utah held UCLA to no touchdowns and 83 yards rushing, and UNLV scored three touchdowns and two field goals against Utah and had 196 ground yards.

Naturally, as a result, UCLA moved up in the polls Sunday, to No. 29 in the Associated Press and Harris polls and to No. 27 in the USA Today coaches’ index.

And one week after UCLA went down like Chuck Wepner in Utah, UCLA Coach Karl Dorrell, the Bayonne Bruin, got off the coaching deck and said: “I answered the bell. And I’m going to continue answering the bell. . . .”

If you’re scoring at home, UCLA beat Brigham Young, which beat Air Force, which beat Utah, which beat UCLA. And so the Bruins are 2-0 in the Pac-10 and 1-1 in the Mountain West.

Appalachian State defeated Michigan on Sept. 1 in front of 109,218 at the Big House but lost Saturday at Wofford in front of 11,042 in Spartanburg, S.C.

Rutgers is No. 10 and Boston College is No. 11 in this week’s coaches’ poll.

And the moon is made of cheese.

Nebraska players had to close their eyes and pray they didn’t get beaten by Ball State on a last-second field-goal attempt at Memorial Stadium. The Cornhuskers held on, 41-40, despite giving up 40-plus points at home for the second consecutive week.

After the game Nebraska quarterback Sam Keller said. “That’s the way the game goes sometimes. Not everything goes as scripted.”

Actually, Sam, it was scripted most seasons under Tom Osborne.

Louisville, a 37-point favorite and desperate for a home-cooked victory after a TV-dinner loss to archrival Kentucky, lost to previously winless Syracuse, which lost its home opener to Washington, which just lost to UCLA, which lost to Utah, which lost to UNLV.

Consider: Temple was only a 35-point underdog to Virginia Tech in 1998 when the Owls pulled off what many consider college football’s biggest upset until Appalachian State pulled into Ann Arbor.

Cincinnati suddenly appeared at No. 24 in this week’s AP poll. And you thought all these years they were in the National League Central.

A holder in the South Carolina-Louisiana State game at Baton Rouge flipped a ball back over his head to the kicker and the kicker ran for a touchdown. But it wasn’t Steve Spurrier who tricked Les Miles but Miles who tricked Spurrier.

Kentucky is 4-0 with at least one victory in conference play for the first time since 1950, the year the Bear Bryant-coached Wildcats ended up beating No. 1 Oklahoma in the Sugar Bowl.

There is no other way to explain Kentucky’s rise in the SEC except to give all credit to Rich Brooks, a former Pac-10 coach.

Despite each having suffered stunning, program-wrenching losses to inferior opponents, UCLA and Michigan could still face each other in the Rose Bowl. UCLA is leading the Pac-10, and Michigan shares the Big Ten lead. The Bruins could still make the Rose Bowl if they win out or their only loss is to USC and the Trojans are No. 1 or No. 2 and go to the BCS national title game. Michigan has already defeated tough-nut Penn State and gets Ohio State at home on Nov. 17.

Weekend wrap

Sunday’s first release of the Harris Interactive poll revealed few surprises. The Harris top six -- USC, LSU, Oklahoma, Florida, West Virginia, California -- mirrors the AP’s top six this week. The Harris poll replaced the AP in the BCS standings formula in 2005. The USA Today coaches’ poll has the same top six, except with Florida at No. 3 instead of Oklahoma. The first BCS standings will be released Oct. 14.

Notre Dame is averaging a nation-worst 2.37 yards per play this season. The next worst team, Florida International, is averaging more than full yard better at 3.46. Good news: Notre Dame no longer has minus-yardage rushing for the season; the Irish now have 103 yards through four games. And that works out to .76 yards per carry.

Times have changed . . . just a tad: Nebraska quarterback Keller on Saturday completed 29 of 37 passes for 438 yards against Ball State. In 1960, for the season, Nebraska completed 24 of 72 passes for 321 yards.

Michigan Coach Lloyd Carr on why he ran Mike Hart 44 times for 153 yards in the Wolverines’ 14-9 win over Penn State. “I’m not dumb. Mike Hart is a great competitor. He loves to win. That’s why he is one of the best players to ever wear that uniform.” Penn State has lost nine straight games against Michigan, but that’s not necessarily a pattern. “I wouldn’t say they have my number,” Penn State Coach Joe Paterno said. “They just play a strong game against us.”

The once-vaunted Nebraska “Blackshirt” defense is ranked No. 75. “This defense is a lot better than what we’re showing right now,” linebacker Bo Ruud said.

Oklahoma has scored at least 50 points in each of its four wins and is averaging 61.5 points per game.

Mike Sanford, former USC player and longtime assistant coach, is only 6-21 at UNLV, but his Rebels are 2-2 this year, his third as head coach, after pitching a shutout against Utah. “This is the best win of my short coaching career,” Sanford said. Sanford was offensive coordinator at Utah under Urban Meyer in 2003 and ’04.

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chris.dufresne@latimes.com

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Play it forward

1No. 5 West Virginia visits No. 18 South Florida on Friday in the first of several key Big East elimination bouts. West Virginia seeks to avenge last year’s national title-busting home loss to South Florida in what is being billed as the biggest home game ever for the Bulls.

2No. 6 California plays at No. 11 Oregon on Saturday in a rare Pacific 10 Conference game with major implications that do not involve USC. Based on this week’s national scoring averages, Oregon will beat Cal in a shootout, 48.50 to 41.50.

3One week after another ho-hum drubbing of Notre Dame, undefeated-but-still-unranked-in-the-AP-poll Michigan State turns to serious endeavors as it opens Big Ten Conference play with a visit to Camp Randall Stadium and No. 9 Wisconsin.

4Northwest Passage-seekers UCLA (produced tight end Marcedes Lewis) and USC (once coached by Don Clark) hit the trail this week for important games at Oregon State and Washington. Last year, USC lost at Oregon State and UCLA lost at Washington.

5Second-ranked Louisiana State visits the Superdome this week to wipe out Bob Toledo’s undermanned Tulane squad. The victory/visit also allows LSU to do a site inspection for the team’s possible return trip in January for the Bowl Championship Series national title game.

-- Chris Dufresne