Text messages from press row ...

Jerry Buss and the Lakers have made it pretty clear that, when the time comes, they’ll do the right thing by retiring Shaquille O’Neal’s No. 34. . . .

The question is, will they later retire No. 8 or No. 24?. . . .

Or both? . . .

In 10 seasons wearing No. 8, Kobe Bryant helped the Lakers win three NBA championships, led the league in scoring once and was a perennial All-Star. . . .

Wearing No. 24, he won another scoring title last season and could be MVP for the first time this season. . . .

And he’s only 29. . . .

The Clippers again have retired all numbers above .500. . . .

What a coincidence that former Laker Smush Parker -- released this week by the Miami Heat after spending almost the entire season on paid disciplinary leave because of an altercation with a female valet attendant -- was undone by a parker. . . .

The woman said Parker twisted her arm over a $12 charge. . . .

And the Clippers want him . . . why? . . . .

A former video assistant might end up inflicting more damage to Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots than Eli Manning and the perfection-preventing New York Giants did last month in the Super Bowl. . . .

When Pacific 10 Conference player of the year Kevin Love says, “A lot of people don’t like UCLA,” he surely is not including the generous Pac-10 officiating crews that gifted the Bruins a pair of crucial victories last week and a probable No. 1 seeding in the NCAA tournament. . . .

Stanford and California would love to be so disliked. . . .

During UCLA’s victory over Cal on Saturday, ABC commentator and former UCLA coach Steve Lavin implied that the Bruins get favorable NCAA tournament draws because Athletic Director Dan Guerrero sits on the selection committee. . . .

Noted Lavin, “I didn’t have Dan Guerrero; I had Pete Dalis, calling me up at the Bel-Air Country Club, trying to give Rick Pitino my job.” . . .

Quick reminder: Dalis hired Lavin; Guerrero fired him. . . .

Forget the office pool, bodoglife.com is taking bets on whether Bob Knight will swear on air during his March Madness stint as an ESPN analyst. . . .

Noting the announcement that the Catholic-heavy West Coast Conference is moving its basketball tournament to a Las Vegas casino next season, USA Today’s Mike Lopresti writes, “OK, maybe this seems something of an odd, uncertain marriage. But then, Las Vegas sees lots of those.” . . .

Butch Harmon only confirms what most golf fans long suspected: John Daly is usually most at home on the 19th hole. . . .

Thirty years later, Tom Lasorda still looks ridiculous in a baseball uniform and still knows how to play to a crowd. . . .

Holman Stadium in Vero Beach, Fla., as Vin Scully noted Sunday during what was probably the Dodgers’ last telecast from the site, was named for Bud Holman, a local businessman who persuaded the Dodgers to train in the city. . . .

It’s too bad nobody could persuade them to stay put. . . .

It doesn’t seem right that the final event in 85-year-old Yankee Stadium might be an NHL game featuring the New York Rangers. . . .

Outdoor hockey, at least, is better than indoor baseball. . . .

With Barry Bonds still eager to continue his career, the Denver man who owns the last ball the slugger hit for a home run last season faces a decision: sell it now or hold onto it in hopes that Bonds’ 762nd home run was his last. . . .

Tennis fans at the Pacific Life Open might want to keep an eye on Maria Sharapova, unbeaten so far in 2008 and winner of the Australian Open. . . .

Many won’t have to be told twice. . . .

NASCAR driver Tony Stewart’s rant about tires: The Goodyear Bleep. . . .

Reader Dave Brubaker, explaining that his “BRU4USC” vanity license plate reveals not a conflicted soul but rather a man nicknamed Bru supporting his alma mater, “What isn’t likely is that this Bru guy could ever love those gutty little Bruins, although I must say that I do love their new offensive coordinator.” . . .

That, of course, would be Norm Chow, formerly of USC. . . .

Parting wish for Brett Favre: Real. Comfortable. Retirement.

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jerome.crowe@latimes.com