No one says Michigan’s coach couldn’t use a life line

A sure sign that a coach’s career is not proceeding as hoped is when he starts suggesting that fans get a life.

“It’s amazing some of the things that people would say [on a message board] or yell at you of a personal nature,” Michigan football Coach Rich Rodriguez told reporters Monday. “You almost want to tell them, ‘Get a life.’

“There’s a whole lot bigger problems. Look at the economy.”

Looking at the economy is a diversionary tactic, as far as Rodriguez is concerned. In Rodriguez’s first season as Michigan coach, the Wolverines have lost a school-record eight games, including a record five games at Michigan Stadium. Michigan, with only three wins, failed to qualify for a bowl game for the first time since 1974.

And in their salvage-the-season finale against rival Ohio State, the Wolverines are 19-point underdogs, equaling the largest spread in series history.

Trivia time

What do Ohio State football players get if they defeat Michigan?

Numbers game

Dustin Pedroia of the Boston Red Sox on Tuesday became the first second baseman since Nellie Fox in 1959 to win the American League most-valuable-player award and the first Red Sox player to win the award since Mo Vaughn in 1995.

Fox and Vaughn ranked fourth and fifth on a list of all-time worst MVPs compiled by the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. Fox hit two home runs in his MVP season, an improvement from zero in 1958. Fox’s Chicago White Sox won the pennant, but second-place Cleveland received 42 home runs from Rocky Colavito and a .363 batting average from Tito Francona.

In 1995, Vaughn had MVP numbers (.300, 39, 126 runs batted in), but the Star-Telegram notes that Cleveland’s Albert Belle hit 17 points higher with 11 more home runs and the same number of RBIs. “This truly was a popularity contest,” Scott McCoy of the Star-Telegram writes.

Trivia answer

A gold charm in the shape of a pair of football pants.

The tradition began in 1934 when Francis Schmidt, Ohio State’s coach, told those wondering how his team would fare against mighty Michigan, “They put their pants on one leg at a time just like everybody else.”

Schmidt’s Buckeyes went out and defeated Michigan four consecutive times, all by shutout.

Game over

It took the Tampa Bay Rays a few weeks, but they finally came up with a response to their World Series defeat.

They fired their mascot.

Or at least they fired the woman who wears the Raymond costume. According to the St. Petersburg Times, Kelly Frank, the woman who “perfected Raymond’s trademark butt shimmy,” was cut by the Rays on Monday after five years with the team.

Frank said she is “just as confused as everyone else” and was told just three weeks ago by her supervisors that she out-enthused the Philadelphia Phillies mascot, the Phillie Phanatic, during the World Series.

Asked, then, what happened, Frank said, “My severance package is kind of up in the air right now, so . . . “

-- Mike Penner