Lakers’ playoff victory is anything but entertaining

I knew Phil had it in him, all but leading the “We want tacos” cheers, one day maybe really making it big in this league -- as our very own entertainer.

The most important thing in the whole world, of course, is a Lakers victory, and admittedly sometimes I forget that, on occasion even going so far as to make light of such a serious thing.

I don’t know why they let me write here, as so many of you have also asked, because I’m told this is really important stuff, and yet win or lose, I just can’t get past wanting to be entertained.

Just imagine if I was paying money for a ticket. Then I’d really be demanding.

I keep waiting for a Lakers victory to change my life, as so many of you seem to think it will, but by and large the next day is usually the same.

Four playoff wins into this thing, and I still haven’t gotten a free breakfast at the Mini Gourmet where I eat every morning, nothing special from the wife because Kobe went for 38, or an invite to join Phil for lunch.

Right now I’d settle for a pair of tacos while waiting to learn the identity of the Lakers’ next victim.

Now I know what you’re thinking -- ‘Oh no, here he goes again’ -- although I have no intention of mentioning the Lakers’ lack of killer instinct.

But just imagine what Phil was thinking before Monday night’s game when I mentioned tacos.

“At the risk of having any fun here,” I began, “I’m wondering if your position on tacos has changed and if you will be asking the guys to win them for everyone tonight?”

The last time I mentioned tacos, the Lakers obviously not giving a rip about your free food and allowing the Jazz to score 100, Jackson reacted as if he had a stomach ache from eating too many.

And when this news conference started before Game 5, Jackson came across just as cranky, someone asking about Luke Walton’s injury and getting only a cryptic response in return: “We’ll dress Adam Morrison.”

OK, so what more can you say than, “We’ll dress Adam Morrison,” and maybe pray to God we never have to play him.

Jackson didn’t offer much else, eventually no other questions tossed his way, so it was time to see if he was capable of really loosening up.

“I’ve never considered that even as an option,” Jackson began when asked about winning tacos for everyone in Staples Center. “If I’m not mistaken, it’s when we score 120 points -- we get tacos.”

It’s not the first time I’ve had to straighten Jackson out, a courtesy that Page 2 likes to provide to all of our local coaches, who often are mistaken.

“It’s all about defense,” I told Jackson. “Keeping the opponent under 100 points. I’m talking defense, so I’m with you here.”

That’s a taco of a different sort, of course, but whatever, Phil still wasn’t going there.

“We won’t talk about Taco Bell [to the players], but we’ll talk about defense then,” he said.

“Jack in the Box will be thrilled,” I replied, “since Jack in the Box is the one giving away the free tacos.”

I think he was actually smiling, although I can’t say for sure if he was having a good time or he prefers Jack in the Box.

“I’ve never thought a number was really important,” Jackson continued. “It’s more or less about finding consecutive or sequential stops out there that change the momentum of the game.”

“That’s all good,” I said, “but just make them score less than 100.”

“You hungry?” Jackson fired back, and what a crack-up he can be.

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WE DON’T know if this will be Phil’s last year on the job, maybe winning a championship to push ahead of Red Auerbach, eloping with Jeanie and never returning from the honeymoon.

Whatever, his time here is running out.

I thought he blew it in his first stint as Lakers coach, winning titles but maybe never quite winning over L.A.

He acknowledged as much as we stood in a Staples Center hallway after the news conference to announce his return a few years back. He went one step further to say he would make a better attempt to become a part of L.A. this time around.

It hasn’t really happened so far, Joe Torre already more embraceable here than Jackson, and yet really nothing on Torre’s L.A. resume to compare with Jackson’s accomplishments here.

It’d be interesting to take a poll right now: When you think of the guy, do you think of him as Chicago’s Phil Jackson, or L.A.’s Phil Jackson?

Torre still belongs to New York, of course, but he’s living here all year, calling it home, very approachable and doing things to endear himself to L.A. And if the Dodgers are as successful as they hint early on this season, his popularity will only grow.

As for Jackson, he says he’s shy, while others think him aloof, and during his time here that has never changed. He’s the NBA’s most successful coach, but when you hear his name announced in pre-game introductions -- at best he gets Kobe’s leftovers.

He’s made it incredibly difficult to get to know him here as anything other than a distant but winning coach and occasional disruptive author.

Everyone’s usually at their best when human, but too often it seems he speaks from a lofty perch.

There has always been a suspicion here that there’s more there, but if so, it remains under heavy guard.

Maybe that’s all L.A. will get from the guy, a whole bunch more victories, and as far as Lakers worshipers go, maybe that’s all anyone wants, along with another trophy.

But for entertainment purposes, 12 more wins yet to be collected, I’ll just say this: He hasn’t heard the last of tacos.

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t.j.simers@latimes.com