Ready to propose, but he’s harboring a secret

Dear Amy: I’m about to be engaged to a wonderful woman. I have known her for three years. I have been wondering whether I should tell her that I had lap band surgery for my obesity seven years ago when I was 45.

The surgery enabled me to lose 100 pounds. I had a subsequent tummy tuck that I lied to my lady about (to explain the scar).

I have never told anyone else, including my family, about this.

My lady is 5 foot 10 and a good weight, but it took her some time to get used to my eating habits -- which include eating less than she does.


I’m worried. What if some medical issue comes up down the road, and she finds out about my secret? What will I do if she finds out I lied about my surgeries?


Dear Perplexed: You won’t have to worry about your secret, because you are going to tell your lady the truth now.

You have not done anything shameful. It is your right to keep this private from other family members, but your future wife should be told about your food addiction and your successful surgeries to deal with it.


Congratulations on maintaining your healthier weight.


Dear Amy: You missed a point in your reply to the person who wanted to confront a person with too many items in the supermarket’s express checkout lane.

I have often been in the express checkout lane with too many items, while others behind me silently glare.


Frequently, either the cashier or an assistant store manager will see that I have only a few items over the limit and will invite me to use the express lane.

Some don’t just invite me to join the express line; they demand it, taking my basket and pulling me into the line.

What should a person do then?



Dear Irritated: You could respond to glares by saying, “Sorry. I know I’m over the limit, but I’m being held in this line against my will.”

Send questions to Amy Dickinson by e-mail to or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.