A Sentimental Nuptial

Adding special, personal touches to a wedding can be a memorable way to create precious and meaningful moments in the ceremony. And it’s a trend that more and more young couples are incorporating in order to keep old traditions alive, even as they begin new ones.

Sometimes it’s a groom’s initials sewn into a bride’s wedding gown, or a single rose placed on a chair in honor of a loved one who has passed away — or maybe a special locket worn by the bride that opens up to reveal a small photo of herself and her maid of honor together when they were children.

Whether these tokens are shared only between the bride and groom or displayed for all the guests to see, many couples are finding that such gestures can communicate their love for each other as well as their families and friends — and honor loved ones no longer here.

Keeping memories alive

For most of Justine Coniglio’s wedding guests, the single snapdragon emerging from her bouquet of pink peonies and white roses was just another pretty flower. But the 26-year-old bride knew different.

That white snapdragon was Coniglio’s discreet way of honoring her deceased grandmother and uncle.

“When I was a child my grandmother and uncle and I would walk through the local nursery, and we’d often open and close the snapdragons and pretend that they were talking,” said Coniglio, an Irvine resident. “It’s one of the many beautiful memories I have of them.”

Coniglio’s husband, Stephen, said that he knew he was marrying the right woman when Justine presented him with a postage stamp-sized frame that held a photo of his father, Gary William Coniglio, who passed away 10 years earlier. Justine also had his father’s initials and the date of their May 21 wedding engraved on the back of the silver frame.

Stephen attached the tiny frame to the stem of a single rose that he wore in a boutonniere on his wedding day.

A spiritual element

Honoring loved ones who have passed on allows the bride and groom to feel as if the absent guests are somehow with them on their special day, said Priscilla Munson, owner of Sacred Ceremonies in Long Beach.

“It seems that when couples do this they are sending a message to everyone gathered together, that they believe in the divine dimension, that their loved ones are not forgotten, that their ceremony is imbued with their spirit, and that eternal life is honored along with the human life that is being honored by the sacred rite of marriage,” Munson said.

Sentimental expressions of love aren’t limited to the couples themselves or deceased family and friends. Many couples add such personal aspects to their nuptials to express their feelings for their guests.

Some personal ways in which couples are honoring their relatives and friends include:

Making special corsages for the mothers of the bride and groom using the same flowers that are in the bridal bouquet.

Inviting all the married guests to renew their vows as part of the wedding celebration, then presenting their wedding bouquet to the couple who has been married the longest.

Writing the bride and groom’s initials on the soles of the bride’s wedding shoes, so that when she kneels at the altar all her guests can see.

Wearing some of their grandparents’ jewelry, whether it’s earrings for the bride or cufflinks for the groom.

Giving guests personalized party favors that express the couple’s love for them.

Bringing the past to life

Alexis Rochlin grew up admiring the wedding photos of both her grandmother and mother. She especially loved how her mother wore her grandmother’s wedding headpiece as part of her veil — so Rochlin decided to wear it in her own ceremony.

“Tradition is very important in my family, and growing up so close with my mother and my grandmother, I wanted to find a way to incorporate this particular tradition into my wedding day,” said Rochlin.

After nearly 65 years in storage, however, the headpiece was falling apart, so Rochlin, 26, began thinking of another way she could make the heirloom a part of her nuptials.

“My florist came up with the idea of cutting off two small segments of the headpiece and attaching them to my bouquet,” she said. “I was able to have this piece of family history with me, connecting me to my mother and my grandmother on my wedding day.

“Maybe one day I will have a daughter and I can keep this tradition alive.”

—Kim Kabar, Custom Publishing Writer