Jaden Smith and Willow Smith have spoken -- and we are not worthy.
The pearls of wisdom the celebrity siblings, age 16 and 14, respectively, laid down in an interview for the New York Times' T Magazine are of the type rarely witnessed on this mortal coil. They truly must be experienced in their entirety.
But first, some samples:
The world needs them. The whole world.
Willow: "When I look back I think, 'Wow, I did so much for young black girls and girls around the world. Telling them that they can be themselves and to not be afraid to be themselves.'"
Jaden: "As soon as me and Willow started releasing music, that's one thing that the whole world took away is, OK, they unlocked another step of honesty. If these guys can be honest about everything, then we can be more honest."
Influential choruses from the collected works of the Smith children, for the part of the world that might have missed out:
"I'm lookin' for a hot one / Talkin' bout a boyfriend, hope that you ain't got one / Cuz even if you do, we can make it work though / Girl I'm not a jerk, I just want to see you twerk," from Jaden's "Flame (Just Cuz)"
"I whip my hair back and forth / I whip my hair back and forth (just whip it) / I whip my hair back and forth / I whip my hair back and forth (whip it real good)," from Willow's "Whip My Hair"
Their world is complete without you. Or anybody else, apparently.
Jaden: "We don't think a lot of the music out there is that cool. So we make our own music. We don't have any song that we like to listen to on the PCH by any other artist, you know?"
Willow: "That's what I do with novels. There're no novels that I like to read so I write my own novels, and then I read them again, and it's the best thing."
So, music and publishing industries, take the rest of the week off. Heck, take the next few years off. They've got this covered.
School is for suckers.
Willow: "I went to school for one year. It was the best experience but the worst experience. The best experience because I was, like, 'Oh, now I know why kids are so depressed.' But it was the worst experience because I was depressed."
Jaden: "You never learn anything in school. Think about how many car accidents happen every day. Driver's ed? What's up? I still haven't been to driver's ed because if everybody I know has been in an accident, I can't see how driver's ed is really helping them out."
And if that's driver's ed, for Pete's sake, imagine how useless the math, science and English teachers must feel. Tragic.
Finally, for every fruit, there is an opposite fruit. And that can be a bad thing.
You'll have to read the whole interview to fully grasp this one -- provided you're not too shackled by the duality of the two-hemisphere human mind. Or is that the two-hemisphere human brain? So many thoughts bouncing around in there ... it gets confusing for mere mortals.
No matter. We'll be here when you get back. See, we're totally stuck figuring out what's the opposite of an apple.
We can only hope Will and Jada are doing the same thing.