Lynne Alana Delaney should have simply taken story credit for "The Remake" and handed over her roles as writer, director and star to more competent folks. As it stands, this abysmal romantic comedy serves as an abject lesson against vanity filmmaking.
The movie is based on a not-bad idea: Actors and ex-lovers Sheridan (Delaney) and Riccardo (Ruben Roberto Gomez), who co-starred in a hit film more than 30 years ago, are reunited by that picture's director (Timothy Carhart) to shoot an updated version. But Sheridan's been angry at Riccardo since their romance abruptly ended back in the day and wants nothing to do with him. Can sparks fly again? Two guesses.
Unfortunately, real-life marrieds Delaney and Gomez seem a good decade too old for their characters' timeline, the entire depiction of Hollywood and filmmaking appears to exist in some alternate — or at least terribly dated — universe, a key plot twist is nearly spelled out in neon midway, and the script, along with its penchant for rehashing story points, is filled with scads of expository, stilted or clichéd dialogue.
The acting, especially by the leads, is often awkward or one-note; even such veterans as Sally Kellerman, June Lockhart, Robert Romanus and Patrika Darbo underwhelm.
The movie is also poorly shot and edited and the sound is uneven. This "Remake" needs a remake.
MPAA Rating: PG-13, for brief language.
Running time: 1 hour, 37 minutes
Playing: Laemmle Monica Film Center, Santa Monica