Sideline Chatter: There’s no crying in baseball � and now no laughing in soccer

Dean Wormer lives!

Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho his team off to its worst start in the English Premier League since 1986 has gotten so uptight that he’s banned all humorous banter between players during practice.

And he’s a little testy with the media too, with responses such as: “Instead of making stupid questions, click Google and try to find (the answer).”

At least he hasn’t threatened to call anyone’s draft board first thing Monday morning.

Headlines

At TheOnion.com: “Tony Romo reunited with top target Dez Bryant weeks before schedule.”

At SportsPickle.com: “Sam Bradford defeats deer in headlights in staring competition.”

Das boot

Lucien Favre, coach of Germany’s winless Borussia Moenchengladbach soccer team, resigned just five games into the Bundesliga season.

In other words, faster than you can say “Borussia Moenchengladbach.”

Political football

Patriots quarterback Tom Brady just endorsed Donald Trump for president.

Well, Brady does throw with his right wing.

Bad brew

TCU defensive end Mike Tuaua and backup wide receiver Andre Petties-Wilson were arrested in Fort Worth on suspicion of accosting a fellow student and stealing his case of Keystone Light.

They face charges of robbery, bodily injury and questionable taste in beer.

Mom’s the word

The Minnesota Vikings’ stadium will be the first in the NFL to feature Mamava lactation suites for nursing mothers.

Looks like quarterbacks won’t be the only ones double-pumping.

Talking the talk

Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com, after Scott Walker said he was “called” to drop out of the race for president: “And God said, ‘Wasn’t me, I was watching the Packers-Seahawks.’?”

Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, on why Pats QB Tom Brady is endorsing Donald Trump: “Uh, presidential pardon?”

Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com, on Army wideout Edgar Allan Poe. “I wonder if he will get drafted by the Baltimore Ravens.”

Packers WR Randall Cobb, to ESPN.com, on teammate Clay Matthews’ matchup vs. the Seahawks’ Marshawn Lynch: “The Beast vs. the Predator. It’s like a movie.”

Bless this mess

The Philadelphia Daily News on its Monday cover implored Pope Francis to take time from his upcoming visit to bless the Eagles, off to a woeful 0-2 start.

Best they ask now before the Eagles get around to playing the Saints and Cardinals.

(c)2015 The Seattle Times

Visit The Seattle Times at www.seattletimes.com

Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.