(Your Name Here) Stadium. Really. Millions not required

In the good old days, ballparks would named for the home team, or a geographical area, or an actual person. Then “naming rights” were invented, and teams sold them for millions.

The San Francisco Giants have won three World Series championships in this century, in a ballpark with four corporate names. The Oakland Athletics’ stadium has had six names in this century. The Miami Marlins just sold their naming rights to a company that requests you call the stadium “loanDepot park” — lower-case l, capital D, lower-case p.

Good grief.

Can we get the name of an actual person back on a ballpark? How about your name?

You can, and without an advertising budget fit for the Fortune 500. In what is being marketed as “the first time in professional baseball history that a stadium’s name will be available for auction,” the Class-A Beloit (Wis.) Snappers are putting daily naming rights up for sale. You can bid a minimum of $500, or you can secure a date for $1,000.

You’ll get stadium signs with your name, an in-game radio interview, the chance to lead the singing of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” and of course a “photo with team mascot Snappy.”

In a press release, Snappers President Jeff Jurgella offered several creative naming examples. Said Jurgella: “Looking to propose to your girlfriend? Take her to ‘Will You Marry Me, Jessica? Park!’ ”

If her last name really is Park, that’s a yes for sure.

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