A global guide to international travel behavior

In South America, don’t tell people you’re from America. (They are, too.)

In Asia, don’t show anger over the region’s growing economic clout.

In Europe, don’t eat with one hand under the table.

In Muslim countries, don’t express admiration for Danish cartoonists.

In the South Pacific, don’t tell people they live in paradise.

In Cuba, don’t say you hope things never change.

In Australia, don’t go into a restroom marked “Sheilas” (if you’re a man) or into one marked “Blokes” (if you’re a woman).

In Canada, don’t pretend to be Canadian.

In Germany, don’t accept a beer without a head.

In Paraguay, don’t say your least favorite musical instrument is the harp.

In Italy, don’t order cappuccino after 11 a.m.

In Japan, don’t blow your nose.

In Brazil, don’t ask, “What’s this sawdust doing on my food?” (It’s dried manioc.)

In Spain, don’t pick up your paper napkin if you drop it at the bar.

In China, don’t go on and on about Taiwan.

In Greece, don’t say, “I didn’t order this,” when your ouzo arrives with a small plate of peanuts or olives or cheese. (It’s complimentary.)

In Ecuador, don’t spray paint graffiti on the Equator.

In England, don’t touch the queen.

In Thailand, don’t badmouth the king.

In Vatican City, don’t correct the pope.

In Morocco, don’t always listen to the man in the street.

In Iran, don’t approach women in the street.

In Chile, don’t say you’ve always dreamed of driving cross-country.

In Poland, don’t talk about “the great English novelist Joseph [Korzeniowski] Conrad” or “the great French scientist Marie [Sklodowska] Curie.”

In Saudi Arabia, don’t order Jack Daniel’s.

In Uruguay, don’t tell people you’re enjoying your stay in Paraguay. (Similar rule for Sweden and Switzerland, Slovakia and Slovenia, Niger and Nigeria, Macedonia and Mesopotamia.)

In Latvia, don’t say your least favorite sport is ice hockey.

In South Korea, don’t ask for a Japanese rental car.

In France, if you’re a male, don’t go to a public swimming pool without a Speedo.

In Mexico, don’t ask mariachis to play “Oye Como Va.”

In Russia, don’t stand with your hands in your pockets.

In the Cook Islands, don’t refuse Communion because you’re on a gluten-free diet. (The host is not bread but coconut meat.)

In India, don’t look to your left before crossing the street.

In Scotland, don’t call the people English.

In Myanmar, don’t call the country Burma.

In Kazakhstan, don’t mention Borat.

In Finland, don’t forget to mention Conan.

In Egypt, don’t walk like an Egyptian.

In Hungary, don’t splash in the baths.

In Turkey, don’t bring up “Midnight Express.”

In Norway, don’t stand on a bridge and scream.

In Argentina, don’t tango solo.

In Vietnam, don’t say pho with a long “O” when ordering the popular noodle soup. (It’s pronounced more like `fuh’).

In Ireland, don’t ask, “Are there any good books by local authors?”

In Singapore, don’t do a lot of things.

In Trinidad, don’t forget Tobago.

In Israel, don’t ask directions to the Wailing Wall. (The proper name is the Western Wall.)

In Portugal, don’t say your least favorite fish is cod.

In Panama, don’t look for the people who make the hats. (They’re in Ecuador.)

In Belgium, don’t think public urination is acceptable just because there’s a statue commemorating the act.

In Indonesia, don’t say you’re planning to explore the country by car.

And whatever you do, wherever you go, never say you don’t like soccer.