8 Practical Ways to Help Your Child Cope After a Wildfire
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Wildfires don’t just leave behind physical damage. For some children, the emotional impact from evacuation, loss of a home, or disrupted routines can linger long after the fire is out, especially if their feelings aren’t acknowledged or supported. Parents may assume their child is “fine” because they aren’t talking about it, but experts say kids often express stress in indirect or surprising ways.
To help families going through wildfire recovery, we spoke with two leading child psychologists: Dr. Karen Rogers, pediatric clinical psychologist at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, and Dr. Catherine Mogil, associate clinical professor at UCLA and founding psychologist at the university’s Stress, Trauma, and Resilience Clinic.
Here are ten practical strategies they recommend to help children cope with the aftermath of a wildfire.
1. Stick to Routines, Even in New Spaces
Children feel safer when they know what to expect. After displacement, even small routines can restore a sense of normalcy.
“As much as possible, if the family can keep some kind of a schedule that feels predictable for a child, I think that’s very helpful,” said Dr. Rogers. It “doesn’t have to be like minute by minute, but just kind of blocks of time about, you know, this is what we do in the mornings, this is what we do in the afternoons.”
Even if you’re staying with relatives or in an Airbnb, try to maintain consistent bedtimes, meal times, and family rituals, such as reading a story or saying goodnight the same way every night.
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2. Invite Conversations, But Don’t Force Them
Children and teenagers may not bring up the wildfire on their own, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t thinking about it. They may worry about upsetting their parents.
“If we don’t bring the subject up, then children aren’t getting the message that it’s something that they can talk about,” Dr. Rogers said. “They may not realize that we do care and that we want to give them that space.”
But that doesn’t mean pushing for a deep emotional conversation right away. It’s best to ease into the conversation so that it doesn’t take on an ominous feeling.
“One of the things that I actually like to do is talk with children about what other kids might be feeling,” Dr. Rogers said. Then you “can always open the door further by saying, ‘Oh, I wonder if you felt some of those things too.”
3. Label Feelings and Model Emotional Regulation
Children often don’t have the language to express big emotions like grief, anger, or fear, so they act out instead. Dr. Mogil said it’s critical for parents to both model calming strategies and name their own feelings so kids understand what they’re seeing.
“Sometimes kids will see us doing those things, but if we don’t go back and label it for them, they may not use the skill,” she said.
A conversation might sound like: “Remember when I got really upset with the clerk at the grocery store? I took three slow, deep breaths, and that’s what helped me to calm down, so that we could, you know, finish our grocery shopping.”
Even better, Mogil said you can relate it back to your child’s own experience by saying: “When you get really upset with your brother, I try to take you on a break with me. That’s one way to help calm down, too.”
She also encourages parents to normalize everyday emotional struggles by saying things like, “We may feel a little more grouchy, we may feel a little more cranky… It seems like you’re feeling really frustrated. Do you think it might be because we had to leave our house?”
That kind of language builds emotional awareness and resilience, even in very young children.
Many LA wildfire survivors were separated from their pets or are struggling to find pet-friendly housing. This guide shares how to find lost pets, secure shelter, and get support for animals after the disaster.
4. Let Kids Help, But Don’t Overload Them
Creating opportunities to help, like letting kids choose where their belongings go in a temporary home or letting teens research activities near a new neighborhood, can foster a sense of purpose and control during an otherwise chaotic time.
“People often feel better if they feel like there’s something positive they can do in a difficult situation,” Dr. Rogers said.
But helping should never mean taking on adult burdens. It shouldn’t get to the point that a “child is shouldering more of the responsibility in the family,” Rogers warned.
Allowing them to choose how to help, especially for teenagers, can make all the difference.
Dr. Mogil said that healthy family recovery from distressing events often comes down to shared but guided problem-solving.
“Resilient families tend to do things like they have kind of coordinated parent leadership… but it’s a kind of parental leadership that is inclusive of their children,” she explained. “Their children don’t necessarily run the show and make all the decisions, but they include them and listen to them.”
However, the final decision still rests with the parent, who must maintain what Dr. Mogil calls the “protective shield” kids rely on for safety.
5. Keep Emotional Check-Ins Part of Daily Life
Instead of doing a sit-down “how are you feeling?” talk that can be intimidating, embedding emotional check-ins into everyday activities is one way to keep an open door to your child’s state of mind.
“Not everything has to become a therapy session,” Dr. Mogil said. “They’ll come back to you if and when they want you, but you do have to create the space to be with them, so that if and when they are ready, you’re around and available.”
Keep casual communication lines open through car rides, bedtime routines, or shared meals. Just being around and available matters.
“Teenagers often express their feelings more through irritability than being as open about more vulnerable feelings,” Dr. Rogers.
Engaging them in an activity like a walk in the park or helping cook dinner might help them loosen up and talk when they are ready.
6. Foster Connections
Creating opportunities for connection is one of the most powerful tools for healing. For younger children, that may mean hugs, shared activities, or time with familiar caregivers. For teens, it’s often about presence without pressure.
“Connection and relationships are really such a protective factor,” Dr. Mogil said. “Just making sure kids have access to that kind of reparative, restorative, one – at least one – safe, stable, nurturing adult.”
Try to maintain bonds with coaches, teachers, family friends, or community leaders, even if your location has changed. A trusted adult outside the immediate family can make a big difference.
“Particularly for adolescents, having multiple adults that they can go to is really, really helpful because they don’t want to come to their mom or dad for everything,” Dr. Mogil said.
While teens may not want to talk specifically about what they feel during recovery, “they may need to revert back for some good Mom and Dad hugs and cuddle time,” Dr. Mogil added.
If you’re processing grief and loss related to the wildfires of Pacific Palisades and Altadena there are mental health resources available to help you cope.
7. Use Nature and Play as Medicine
Play, creativity, and time outdoors can all help kids regulate their bodies and emotions, often more effectively than words alone.
“We know that healing, actually like physiological, physical healing, is forwarded more even if hospital rooms have a window to a nature scene or a painting of a nature scene,” said Dr. Mogil. “So anytime we can get out and take a family walk… whatever we can do to be outside in nature,” can be a huge help.
Mogil said it can be turned into a sensory game or a scavenger hunt. “Let’s find something soft to touch, something rough, something green, something red. Can we hear a bird? Can we smell a flower?” she described.
This kind of grounding activity helps children calm their nervous systems and feel present again.
Even older kids who act “too cool” for these games may benefit, especially with a simple nudge to participate for the sake of their younger siblings.
“Giving older kids the cover story—like, ‘I know this is so baby for you, but please help me out, it’s really going to help with the littles ... sometimes gives them the freedom to revert back to a more playful time in their life,” said Dr. Mogil. “Even if it’s just for that 30 minutes.”
Whether it’s drawing, molding clay, going on a “listening walk,” or exploring a new area outdoors, these moments can offer the space to process stress and release emotion.
8. Be Honest
Don’t promise everything will be okay, but do help kids see who’s helping and what’s being done to keep them safe.
“Parents will often ask, ‘Well, how am I supposed to promise them that this will never happen again?’” Dr. Mogil said. “And I usually say, well, we can’t... but you can point to all the people in the neighborhood [helping]. Kind of the Mr. Rogers thing.”
This helps build a story of survival, hope, and resilience rather than fear and reassures them that there’s a way forward from the situation. They see community members helping and working together and learn that they can overcome their situation.
When to Seek Professional Help
Some emotional or behavioral changes are a natural part of how children process disruption and loss. Temporary regression, like potty accidents, sleep struggles, clinginess, or irritability, is expected after a traumatic event. But if those issues don’t improve within a few weeks or begin interfering with daily life, it may be time to reach out for support.
Other signs that psychologists say signal that a child may need additional help include an inability to concentrate or enjoy daily activities.
“My rule of thumb for when I think a child might need a referral for counseling... is if they are showing changes that really impact their ability to do things that kids need to do to grow up to be healthy,” Dr. Rogers said.
Dr. Mogil added that if a child seems stuck in a heightened state of fear or shows prolonged panic at the sound of sirens or at the sight of fire for several months, “then it may be time to say, okay, what else do I need to be doing?”
If you’re unsure, a good first step is to talk to your child’s pediatrician, who can give advice on what’s typical and connect you with trauma-informed therapists if needed.
Also, set up regular check-ins with teachers or school counselors, especially if your child switched schools, is struggling academically, and exhibiting extreme rebelliousness or risk-taking behaviors.
“Parents know their children really well, and teachers know a different side,” Dr. Rogers said. “Partnering is the best plan.”
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