Better care than a wife could give

I seldom write to newspapers, but the article written by Kathleen Clary Miller concerning her father had an unexpected effect on me [“My Turn: When Forgetting Is a Gift,” May 7].

I have a husband who also has Alzheimer’s. I cared for him at home for 10 years before placing him in a nursing home. I thought it was my duty as a wife to care for him at home.

Caring for an Alzheimer’s patient is a 24-hour job. The guilt of placing him in the nursing home has remained with me -- until now, when I read the article by Kathleen. She is so right that forgetting is a gift for people with this disease.

He is much better off being cared for in the nursing home. He receives good meals, more attention than he can handle, his agitation is controlled and professionals are caring for all of his needs. Why did I think I could handle it all by myself? He doesn’t remember me or our home. The nursing home staff is his family now.

BONNIE VANDENBERG

Capistrano Beach