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Dog lovers give him something to chew on

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These people live among you:

Robert Arvai: “My puli is more of a human being than you are.”

Didn’t think the AKC looked favorably on cross-breeding.

Frances Smith: “You are really quite a humorless writer. I am the proud owner of three Scottish Deerhounds. The Deerhound was bred in Scotland to hunt deer. A hunter would take their dog on hunts and the deerhound would both chase down and hold a deer until the hunter made the kill.”

Funny, funny stuff.

Bill Todman Jr.: “The funny aspect of your Westminster Dog Show ‘coverage’ was you commenting on which animals were ugly. Talk about irony -- you have to be one of those who looks in the mirror and sees Brad Pitt looking back. And since you haven’t ever ‘kissed a dog,’ I know a 100-pound Rottweiler who would very much like to meet you in person.”

Looking like Brad Pitt, I get this all the time.

Jim Cosgrove: “It would be a lot easier to have sympathy for Tim Leiweke’s complaints about the effect of the proposed 10% entertainment tax on fans if [Staples Center] and other teams did not already charge fans for such things as ‘service charges’ and ‘convenience fees’ when ordering tickets. What are those if not a private ‘tax’ added to the already high price of tickets?”

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If you’re going to start making sense, this is no place for you.

Roy George: “I suppose you were more entertained with Steve Lavin’s fifth-place finishes in the Pac-10 and second-round blowout losses in the NCAA tournament. Another example of ‘you can’t please everyone.’ Give me Howland any day!”

Don’t be so defensive.

Jeff Burkhart: “When did a dog show become a sporting event? It must have been around the same time that beauty pageants and wet T-shirt contests became a barometer for the intelligence of a female. Who puts makeup on a dog!!!? Our economy is falling apart and you’re telling us a story about people who will pay $10,000 for a dog that will do little more than eat, sleep and defecate its entire life.”

When you include running around a little and breeding, it’s not that much different than some of our athletes.

D.J. Morasco: “I realize why Jeff Kent hated the media as much as he did. You say Kent doesn’t care what the media writes about him, and why should he? Who wants to read negative and horrible things about himself? Would you want to read an article about your shortcomings and downfalls?

Read on.

Carlotta Cooper: “(When you talk about a dog walking), it’s gait, you twit, not gate. You must be the most ignorant person who has ever covered a dog show.”

I’ve got to say, you have to be pretty stupid to go.

Sue Christman: “I’d rather save a dog and have you put down.”

And maybe make a movie and call it “T.J. & Me.”

Valerie O’Pry: “Please don’t get a dog as it probably would be miserable.”

Got a name already picked out: Barbaro.

Anne Catterson: “The Brussels Griffon, Lincoln, has never snapped at anyone. I resent the implication in your article. I know this because the handler, Paul Catterson, is my son. It’s true, Brussels Griffons are not fond of small children . . . “

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I’m surprised to hear the little snappers aren’t fond of the way small children taste.

Kim Cloen: “I think the biggest issue I have is that you called the Brussels ‘a nasty little snapper.’ Unless you saw this dog try and bite someone, you just opened yourself up to a new can of worms. Can we say slander suit?”

I’m guessing your dog can’t.

Elizabeth Brinkley: “You are pointing a finger but there are four pointing back at you. I and several other people from e-mail lists are going to be reporting you to your editor.”

Careful sticking those fingers out; there might be a Brussels near by.

Sharon Richardson: “Why do they have someone like you write about a dog show?”

I have experience writing about the Dodgers.

Ernest Friesen: “I will be contacting the L.A. Times to ensure that you never find work again. Furthermore, I plan to petition all the animal-related advertisers in your fine publication. I plan to bring to their attention the ‘opinion’ of the L.A. Times. You may not contact me back.”

And I was going to ask you to be my Facebook friend.

Stefan O’Grady: “You are an ignorant journalist; the type that most of us in the U.S. soccer community have been forced to tolerate. I invite you to come and try and play with us on Sundays. You will be puking within half an hour.”

Sounds like soccer is a lot of fun.

Sam Rindge: “The relation between sports writers and athletes is that of parasites to hosts. Your equation of the situations of Kent and [former Daily News columnist Steve] Dilbeck is as delusional as your belief that anyone with an IQ over 50 cares about the neurotic antics of your white trash family.”

Thanks for asking, the grandkid is into gymnastics and says she loves hanging from the bars. Her dad knows something about hanging around bars too. That reminds me, I believe someone on the wife’s side of the family was behind bars . . .

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John Tyler: “To [say] the Daily News sports columnist is somehow just as worthy of acclaim [as Kent] after being laid off illustrates that, with the advent of ESPN, sportswriters think they’re bigger than the athletes they cover. . . . You guys would not even have jobs if it weren’t for the Kents of the world. The Kents get paid big money because anyone can write a column, but who can hit a major league curveball with two outs and two strikes in the ninth of a close game with millions watching?”

Kent made an out seven of every 10 times he came to the plate; try interviewing Kent after the grouch struck out on a curveball with two outs in the ninth and then make it sound as if Kent was coherent. Steve Dilbeck nailed it a lot more than three out of 10 times.

Mike Jameson: “How’s that New Year’s resolution to lose weight coming along, fatso?”

Great. Only put on seven pounds so far.

Judy: “I am a 67-year-old grandmother who loves soccer, as does my soccer-playing daughter. I know nothing about the sports industry. However, as a professional with some sense, it seems to me that reading about someone who complains about the proposed entertainment tax yet authorized the payment of $250M for a player [like Beckham] who doesn’t play much in the U.S. is off his rocker.”

If you’re going to start making sense, this is no place for you.

--

t.j.simers@latimes.com

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