Tiger keeps the volume on mute

Attention network golf commentators: Tiger Woods isn’t very interested in what you say about him.

Fox Sports Radio’s Steve Czaban last week asked Woods: “Do you TiVo tournaments you’re in, then go back and look at them afterward, maybe take notes, notice something, listen to what the announcers are saying?”

Said Woods: “I usually have my secretary get a copy of the telecasts from the PGA Tour and I’ll take a look at it just from the swing standpoint, yeah.”

Czaban: “Just the swing, though. You really won’t sit down and . . . “

Woods: “Listen to the commentators? No, never.”

Trivia time

Woods, 32, turned pro at age 20 in 1996. But he played in his first pro tournament as an amateur at what age?

Hat trick

The NFL draft had new time restrictions, but one could still say it was a “Long” draft.

The first pick was Jake Long, the Michigan offensive lineman who has already signed with the Miami Dolphins. Going second to the St. Louis Rams was Chris Long, a defensive end from Virginia.

Chris Long is the one with the famous father, Howie Long, the former Raiders defensive end and current Fox studio commentator who often gets kidded for, literally, having a big head.

Radio talk show host Dan Patrick recently asked the younger Long about his father’s hat size.

“I’m going to estimate 8 3/4 ,” Long said.

Patrick: “So I could use your dad’s hat for a beer cooler if I wanted to?”

Long: “You could. You might have to buy out 7-Eleven’s ice supply.”

Memory not his strong suit

“McGuire,” a one-man play written by Dick Enberg and performed by Cotter Smith, got rave reviews after its two-night West Coast debut in Solana Beach last week.

The play is about the late Al McGuire, former Marquette coach turned broadcaster. With McGuire, who was quite a character, you just never knew what he was going to say.

Years ago, when a Times sportswriter met him for the first time, McGuire said, “Your boss is one of my best friends in the whole world.” He then paused and said, “What’s his name again?”

He was referring to then-sports editor Bill Dwyre.

Geographical humor

Frank Stronach, chairman of Magna Entertainment, which owns Santa Anita Park, recently had lunch with Ron Charles, Magna’s chief operating office and the president of the Arcadia racetrack. A couple of friends were also there, and Stronach, who owns a 2,000-horse ranch in Paris, Ky., told them, “I once called Ron and invited him to my ranch in Paris. He called me a few days later from Paris, France, and said, ‘Where are you?’ ”

Old school

Opponents of the Utah Jazz don’t have much trouble figuring out the play calling of Jerry Sloan, who is in his 20th season as the team’s head coach.

“Of course everybody knows what we’re doing,” guard Deron Williams told the (Salt Lake City) Deseret News. “Coach has been calling the same plays since 1927.”

Mix and match

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. So Time magazine must have been impressed with the NBA’s “There Can Only Be One” campaign where two opponents, through trick photography, appear as one.

The magazine did the same thing on a cover with political opponents Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. And the magazine gave proper credit on the table of contents page with: “On the cover: Photo illustration inspired by the 2008 NBA playoff ad campaign.”

Trivia answer

Woods was 16 when he played in his first PGA Tour event, the Nissan Open at Riviera.

And finally

Arizona Diamondbacks outfielder Eric Byrnes, on FSN’s “Best Damn Sports Show Period,” said: “I’ve never understood how people say, ‘Oh, it’s a contract year,’ and the guys go out there and are playing harder in that year. If anything, I felt even more pressure to produce after the deal because I wanted to prove my worth.”

Gee, what a novel idea.

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larry.stewart@latimes.com