Elderly to Counsel Other Seniors : They Have Experienced Firsthand the Problems of Aging

Although 9% of Pomona’s population is 65 or older, fewer than 1% of the people who seek counseling at Family Service of Pomona Valley are that age.

“Rarely does a senior citizen call us up and say, ‘I’m depressed and I want to talk to a counselor,’ ” said Madeline Patane, the agency’s director of volunteer services.

But that does not mean that the elderly are problem-free or coping with life so well that counseling is irrelevant, she said. She cited national statistics showing that one-fourth of all alcoholics are 65 or older and that elderly men have a high suicide rate.

Some older people resist counseling because they belong to a generation that prides itself on self-reliance, Patane said. They regard asking for help as a sign of weakness.

Avoid Younger Counselors

But for many, Patane said, the resistance to counseling is rooted in an aversion to talking their problems over with someone much younger, a person who has not lived through retirement, the loss of a spouse or other experiences associated with aging.

Or as one man put it, “I don’t want to see some young whippersnapper,” Patane recalled.

So Family Service is embarking on a program to recruit and train senior volunteers to counsel people their own age.

Patane said she is convinced that the elderly will seek counseling and benefit from it if the counselors are at similar stages of life and can draw on common experiences.

The Pomona program is modeled after a program created in 1977 by the Senior Health and Peer Counseling Center in Santa Monica, which arranges peer counseling for 500 to 600 clients a year.

Patane said Family Service of Pomona Valley, a nonprofit agency serving Pomona, Claremont, San Dimas, La Verne, Walnut and Diamond Bar, is organizing the program at the request of four retirement communities--Pilgrim Place and Claremont Manor in Claremont, Mount San Antonio Gardens in Pomona and Hillcrest Homes in La Verne.

With the help of other community organizations, Family Service has established a 42-member advisory council to oversee the program. So far 16 people have applied to serve as volunteer counselors. Most have had some counseling experience, either through their churches or in social work. They range in age from their 60s to their 80s.

Sharing Experiences

Patane said those selected will receive 40 hours of training on such topics as the aging process and the art of listening. Counselors will learn how to spot problems that require professional help, not just peer counseling.

The counselors’ most valuable assets will be their own life experiences and their willingness to share the ways they coped with retirement, death of family members, loss of income, loneliness and all the other problems that often come with aging, Patane said.

The first counseling sessions will begin next month. Those accepted as counselors must agree to devote 10 hours a week for a year to the program. The counselors will not be paid, nor will there be a fee for counseling.

Patane said she hopes that elderly people will call Family Service for help, but noted, “Most people who are in big trouble are the last to know they need counseling.” She expects, therefore, that the service will operate mostly through referrals from doctors, social workers and friends.

Once the peer counseling program is firmly established, Patane said, Family Service hopes to recruit senior citizens for two other programs: foster grandparents and parent modeling. Foster grandparents would spend time working with children who have been physically or sexually abused. Under the parent modeling program, senior citizens would offer advice on child-raising to young parents.