Drug Testing Needed for Baseball’s Image

I’m drinking coffee as I write this. I know caffeine is terrible for my health, but they say it can temporarily perk up the mental processes.

It’s my drug for writing, and I can’t seem to kick it. I compete with writers from other papers, and I don’t want to give up that caffeine edge, real or imagined.

At least it’s cheap. I have a 75-cent-a-day habit.

In some respects I’m glad I’m not a superstar major league baseball pitcher. I don’t do my typing in front of 55,000 screaming spectators who are cheering or booing every sentence and paragraph. If I did, I’d probably be tempted by bigger drugs than caffeine. And if that were the case, I think I would vote for industry-wide mandatory drug testing of sportswriters on the job.

If I were a baseball player, I would encourage my union to support mandatory drug testing. I would do the same if I played any other sport. And while the testers were at it, I would vote to have them test also for steroids and blood doping.

Many colleges are drug-testing their athletes. The Dodgers decided to do it in baseball. The players’ union doesn’t want testing, and the Dodgers appear to have backed down, at least a little. How much is hard to tell. There is a lot of posturing and statement-making going on right now.

Whether or not the Dodgers back down completely, it would be nice to see the players’ association reverse its stand on drug testing.

“What could be more degrading than being forced to urinate into a cup?” you say.

Ask Vida Blue, Jerry Martin, Steve Howe. They might have a good answer for you on that one. “What about our personal freedom?” you cry.

Freedom to play high? Freedom to let down your teammates? Freedom to alienate fans?

Our country was founded on the concept of personal freedom, but I have to think that John Hancock and Ben Franklin and the boys, when they talked of inalienable rights, weren’t thinking in terms of snorting coke in the bullpen.

A few years ago, I wrote a column critical of Vin Scully for neglecting to keep his listeners abreast of some of baseball’s bad news. I received more mail on that column than any I’ve written before or since. Almost all of the mail was in support of Scully, but there was a general theme running through most of the letters that went beyond loyalty and affection for Vin.

The basic message was this: “Ostler, you jerk. We get all the bad news we need in real life. When we watch a sporting event, we don’t want to see or read about that negative outside stuff. Sports is an island we visit to escape all the depressing news.”

Unfortunately, the bad news has been washing ashore on the island of sports. Tidal waves of bad news, and nobody can ignore it all. Is every athlete into steroids and blood doping and drugs and illicit sex, or does it just seem that way?

Baseball’s image is heading south, and it’s time to do something. Drug testing is a great way to start. You got a better plan? The fans feel they are entitled to a drug-free performance for the price of a ticket. This seems reasonable. At times, it also seems impossible.

Drug testing would be good for you guys, too. Those of you who are drug-free would no longer worry that the druggies are gaining a competitive edge, however short-term. Those of you who are clean would no longer feel tainted by the rampant rumors, suspicions and arrests. Those of you who aren’t clean would be forced to seek help sooner than you might have. Those of you who are tempted to indulge would have something to counterbalance that temptation.

“Why us?” you protest. “Why not test airline pilots and taxi drivers and plumbers?”

I would encourage that, too. I prefer people who fly my airplanes or fix my plumbing do so while rooted in reality and in control of their central nervous systems.

Ballplayers? You guys probably won’t crash a plane by getting high, but you could crash the spirit of a lot of kids who put up your posters on their bedroom walls and imitate the way you walk and talk and pitch. Kids hardly ever put up posters of their favorite plumber, or their favorite sportswriter.

And consider this: I’m not advocating a lifetime commitment to clean living. You’ll only be tested half the year, and only for a few seasons. Your careers are very short, remember? That’s a point you always make when high salaries come under attack from fans or owners.

The testing wouldn’t be so degrading. You should try taking an Army pre-induction physical. If you find a better way to get rid of drugs, let me know. I’d love to kick this caffeine habit.