The Real World Catches Trackmen, a Tattooed Boxer

Views behind the news . . .

News: NFL players Renaldo Nehemiah, Willie Gault appeal to have amateur track status reinstated; appeal rejected by IAAF.

Views: Whew, that was close. Once again the world of amateur athletics is saved from contamination by professionals. Letting Nehemiah and Gault run in the Olympics would be like letting street walkers sell Girl Scout cookies.

Funny thing is, from what they earn playing pro football, Nehemiah and Gault wouldn’t even rate in the financial Top 10 of America’s best-paid amateur track and field stars. Mary Decker Slaney earned more than Nehemiah and Gault put together last year, and Decker Slaney proved at the Olympics that she can’t even break a tackle.

News: Prison escapee apprehended after boxing on nationally televised fight card. Cops identify him by tattoo of a rose.

Views: The poor slob could have avoided this trouble by reading my recently published “Handy Fugitive Tips.” Tip No. 5 is: “When you’re on the lam, try to avoid national TV exposure, especially if you have a lot of distinctive tattoos, and the TV gig involves taking off your shirt.”

News: Wade Boggs, riding 24-game hitting streak, is superstitious. He will talk to media, but not about streak.

Views: Good thing. It would get boring over the next few weeks hearing Boggs yammer on about nothing but his pursuit of Joe DiMaggio and baseball’s most unreachable record. Should be an exciting postgame press conference when Boggs hits in his 57th straight. “So, Wade . . . Pretty hot out there tonight, eh? . . . How’s the wife? . . . Uh, seen the new Muppet movie?”

Rod Carew, chasing his 3,000th hit, has said: “I don’t think I’m even going to speak (to the media) that night. You never hear much about it (the 3,000) here (Anaheim), and when you do, it’s in a negative sense.”

There’s two postgame press conferences I won’t want to miss.

News: Chicago Cub management says if team gets into World Series, Cubs won’t play home games at Wrigley Field.

Views: Now that most ballparks look like they were designed by shopping-mall architects, why would the Cubs want to ruin things by hosting a World Series in a park that epitomizes baseball tradition, atmosphere, fever and spirit? Why showcase the greatest ballpark in the world when you can pick up a few extra bucks by playing elsewhere? Why not see if Caesars Palace will put in a bid? Throw some grandstands and some Astroturf onto the parking lot.

News: Harmon Killebrew plans to hit Sandy Koufax pitch over Mississippi River as publicity stunt during All-Star break. Killebrew calls off effort when he discovers river is 1,000 feet wide. Views: Know your geography, Killer. You shoulda waited until the next time the All-Star game comes to L.A., Harm. Even I could take Koufax over the Los Angeles River. Even if Gene Mauch flashed me the bunt sign.

News: Fifteen baseball All-Stars promise to visit Minnesota children’s hospital morning of All-Star Game. Seven actually show up at hospital. Sponsors say other eight had last-minute conflicts, or were not recovered from previous evening’s All-Star party.

Views: Another heart-warming sports story. The no-shows must have been practicing for the strike. Last minute conflicts? Like maybe all eight were called out to negotiate a Mideast hostage crisis or something. If the players were merely hung over from the All-Star party, they should have said so. Maybe the kids could have been bussed to the hotel to visit the players.

News: Rambo fever runs rampant. Rambo dolls, Rambo wardrobes are all the rage as nation adopts the Sylvester Stallone jungle-fighting movie hero, John Rambo.

Views: Wonder how the real John Rambo feels about all this. John Rambo was a star basketball player at Cal State Long Beach in the mid 1960s, and won a bronze medal in the high jump at the 1964 Olympics.

Wonder if the real John Rambo has any trouble these days registering in hotels or cashing checks. Ironically, the real John Rambo is, or was, a jungle fighter of sorts. When last seen, a few years ago, the real Rambo was heading up a program to help kids fight their way out of the ghetto jungle by providing food, clothing, recreational opportunities and encouragement.

Hey, might make a good movie.