Suits Against Tobacco Firms

The time seems propitious for my long-planned suit against Hostess, manufacturer of Twinkies. Not only do I attribute my weight and health problems to commercial brainwashing I received as a child, but frequently I feel nearly overcome by the urge to assassinate local gay politicians. Clearly, someone must pay.

I read with dismay (Aug. 5) about the suits of tobacco addicts against R.J. Reynolds. I am neither a smoker nor a friend of the tobacco industry, yet these trends in our increasingly litigious society must concern us all.

Americans are abandoning all sense of individual responsibility with eager encouragement of the legal profession. Lawsuits are bankrupting our society, threatening towns and physicians with dissolution because of skyrocketing insurance rates. Many view huge settlements like money that rains down from heaven, but we pay for these lottery prizes every time we buy something.

The final irony, of course, is that when we hear about million-dollar settlements, only a fraction of that is ever distributed to the actual “victim.” Much of the award is dissipated in court costs and legal fees. Society cannot long tolerate this bloated parasitic infrastructure.

In the meantime, I look forward to suing Smith and Wesson the next time I shoot myself in the foot.

PAUL KIRKAAS

Redondo Beach