I’m Not Home To Answer Your Call

Wait, don’t hang up. We know you hate calling a number and getting an answering machine in lieu of the real person. But now there’s a solution. It’s a little paperback called “Getting Even with the Answering Machine,” a book of answering machine phone messages by John Carfi and Cliff Carle.

Judging from the brisk sales of this novelty book there must be a lot of Valley denizens out there who--if left to their own resources--are pretty likely to leave a click and a dial tone when they’re confronted with an answering machine. “I’m very intimidated by answering machines,” sasy one shy Valleyite. “I never think the messages I leave sound very good.”

Well, this slim paperback saves you the task of having to think or be creative after you hear the beep tone. It has messages for every category and every occasion. If you want to pretend you’re a famous person, look under the “Famous Person” category, if you want to leave a slightly titilating impression, check under messages rated “PG.”

How about this clever suggestion under the “Tricks ‘R’ Us” category: “Hello, this is No-tell Motel. Congratulations Mr. Smith. You’ve won our customer of the year award.” Then hang up. This is for the person who’s decicded he has more than enough friends, and can well afford to loose a few.