It’s 2005, an NBA Odyssey

NBA writer David Moore of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, looking to the future, envisions the following story appearing in the sports section in 20 years:

Oct. 20, 2005--Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, the 58-year-old center of the Los Angeles Lakers, has announced his retirement.

“This was a painful decision,” Abdul-Jabbar said, trying to hold back the tears. “I think I could play for another two years, but I guess it’s time to step aside and let some of these young guys have their day.”

Akeem Olajuwon, who has opened a chain of restaurants in Houston since retiring five years ago, said Abdul-Jabbar was “a tough man to guard, mon. He was good.” Pat Riley, who retired as the Lakers’ coach three years ago to design his own line of clothing, said the league was losing “a unique talent and individual.”

The only negative comment came from U.S. Olympic volleyball Coach Wilt Chamberlain, who said Abdul-Jabbar “was not half the basketball player or half the actor I was.”

Trivia Time: Rookie Spud Webb of the Atlanta Hawks, listed at 5 feet 7 inches, has been measured by the club at 5-5 1/2, which makes him the smallest player in NBA history. The previous smallest, at 5-7, were Monty Towe of the Denver Nuggets, and a guard for the 1947-48 NBA champion Baltimore Bullets, whose first name was Herman. Who is Herman? (Answer below.)

Free safety Curtis Jordan of the Washington Redskins, after being named NFC defensive player of the week for intercepting a pass, recovering a fumble and being in on 19 tackles against the Cleveland Browns, told Dave Sell of the Washington Post: “A lot of pile-ons got my total up there. It makes you feel good to get an award like that. I heard that I get a yacht for winning that. Is that true?”

“No,” Sell said.

“No yacht, huh,” Jordan said. “Oh, well.”

It’s LSU vs. Mississippi Saturday in the renewal of series that has produced some of the most memorable plays in the history of the South.

There was the fabled 89-yard punt return by Heisman Trophy-winner Billy Cannon in the fourth quarter to give LSU a 7-3 win on Halloween night in 1959.

There was the virtual one-man show by Archie Manning to give Ole Miss a 26-23 comeback win over previously unbeaten LSU in 1969.

There was the Bert Jones-to-Brad Davis touchdown pass at the gun in 1972 to keep LSU unbeaten, 17-16.

Perhaps the most unforgettable moment involved two future New York Giant quarterbacks in 1947. LSU’s Y.A. Tittle intercepted a pass by Ole Miss’ Charley Conerly, but on the runback his belt buckle broke, he tripped over his falling pants and fell. LSU failed to score and Ole Miss won, 20-18, to clinch the Southeastern Conference title.

Trivia Answer: Herman (Red) Klotz. He’s best known as the coach of the Washington Generals, perennial patsies for the Harlem Globetrotters.

Quotebook

Actor Jack Lemmon: “If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.”