Every time he mentions those pesky felines, he comes within a cat’s whisker of getting hung by a short leash

No subject that I touch on in this space provokes a more vociferous, abusive and controversial response from the public than cats.

The other day I noted that a condominium homeowners’ association in Tarzana had warned its members that all pets must be leashed, including cats.

To this I merely observed that it was impossible to keep a cat on a leash, and I quoted from the message in which Adlai Stevenson, as governor of Illinois, had vetoed a bill requiring that cats be kept home, arguing eloquently that it was their nature to roam.

I have already quoted from a few letters testifying that cats indeed can be trained to the leash--some of them enclosing snapshots in proof of this unnatural practice--but those were just the priming of the pump.

Evidently the leashing of cats is a fairly common practice, and anyone who has the patience, and begins soon enough, can do it.

Perhaps the most rational comment came from Marion McGuire of Long Beach, who said she “loved Gov. Stevenson’s comments,” but who enclosed an article she had written for Cat Fancy magazine on how to leash a cat.

“The first rule of the game,” she wrote, “is to avoid it if you can; the second rule is, if you can’t avoid it, do it very carefully so that both you and your pet will enjoy the experience. . . .” Leashing a cat is a tactic decided on “reluctantly” by city cat owners who have learned that “unprotected cats are sadly vulnerable to urban disasters.”

McGuire answers the complaint most often raised by those who don’t own cats. “Cats very rarely, if ever, use their walks as bathroom trips. They much prefer to use the litter box . . . in the house.”

This is verified by Marion Smale of Pasadena, who obtained a 10-month-old cat from the Pasadena Humane Society and trained her on a leash. “The secret is to let the cat lead you! This can be exciting at times if they decide to jump on a wall--but it’s good exercise for both you and the cat.

“As far as using outdoor dirt, gravel, or whatever and disturbing planted areas, not to worry. This cat spends a half-hour outdoors and upon entering the house promptly uses the litter box--not a bit of the outdoors is ever sullied.”

Miss Smale predicted that my column would “get a rise out of a lot of people--cat fanciers and cat haters.”

She was right. It seems that anything I write about cats offends both sides.

Arnold Lipp, one of the California Place (Tarzana) owners, comments abusively on my intelligence and warns that I may be sued as a result of suggesting that owners of unwanted cats drop them off at California Place, knowing they will be picked up.

Naturally I made no such suggestion. I merely warned that the homeowner management’s notice that loose cats would be picked up and disposed of was an invitation to outsiders to abandon their unwanted cats at this convenient location.

I doubt also that I can be sued for noting that Mr. Lipp’s description of the hideous environment created at California Place by wandering cats is not a very good advertisement for it.

One hardly dares take a step on one’s own patio barefoot, according to Mr. Lipp, and the air reeks of noxious odors.

On the other side is Bunty Justin of Villa Marina East IV, whose husband, Sidney, sends a copy of an irate letter she wrote to the Horizon Management Co. for its edict against roaming cats.

Mrs. Justin also quoted Gov. Stevenson, and added: “Much of the day, as with most felines, our cat sleeps indoors in a favorite corner, but come mid-afternoon, he is off and exploring the land. Mind you, not to use as a bathroom--he has a litter pan indoors for that and has been trained to use it since kittenhood. But there are a myriad of grasshoppers to catch out there and bring home. And somewhere, a nest of ghastly rats to annihilate--sigh--and bring home. At the rate he brings back his quarry, quite dead and utterly revolting, I should think that little cat would be rewarded for being a non-paid exterminating company rather than being condemned for his normal roaming instincts. . . .”

Mrs. Justin adds that her cat is never let out at night.

The question is put in a sane perspective by Chris Paxton of El Toro, an animal control officer, who observes that cats are not so much the problem as owners who don’t take care of them.

He makes a few points: Most animals killed on roads are cats. Of the thousands of cats taken to the Orange County Animal Shelter, less than 5% are redeemed by owners. Less than 1% are identified by some kind of tag. Cats do not always bury their droppings, but are drawn to sandboxes and gardens. Cats are as good as dogs at digging into and scattering rubbish. Many cats have diseases that vaccination could have prevented. Stray cats are much more likely to be poisoned, shot or tortured than other animals.

Finally, Paxton says, “Cats can be leash trained. I have known of several leash-trained felines. Most of these are in better physical condition and will outlive their wandering brethren. Unfortunately, this training takes time and patience.”

In feeding 13 wild cats, Paxton adds, I was merely perpetuating the problem.

My conclusion is that, if you believe in reincarnation, try not to come back as a cat.