Ex-President Marcos Keeps Learning That Cheaters Never Win

Ferdinand Marcos is mad. First, he loses the presidency of the Philippines. Now, he’s being accused of cheating at golf.

Dindo Gonzalez, a Manila columnist who said he often played with Marcos, accused him of signing false golf scores. He said Marcos’ caddies and bodyguards frequently kicked the ball into the fairway from the rough and that he routinely was conceded putts.

“After his first putt, if the ball was a club length away from the hole, he was given the putt since he was the president,” said Gonzalez.

Marcos has denied it all. He was so mad, in fact, that he wrote an angry letter to the paper demanding a retraction.

How laid back is Fred Couples on the golf course? Said CBS commentator Gary McCord Sunday: “Sometimes he has all the motivation of melted ice cream.”

Ernie Lombardi, inducted Sunday into the Hall of Fame, was known as the slowest man in baseball. When he came to bat, infielders retreated to the outfield grass, secure that they would have time to throw him out.

Former Dodger shortstop Pee Wee Reese said, “The first time I met him, he said, ‘You know, for the first three years I thought you were the Brooklyn left fielder.’ ”

Trivia Time: Three years ago today Dave Winfield of the New York Yankees was arrested in Toronto. Why? (Answer below.)

Four Years Ago Today: On Aug. 4, 1982, Joel Youngblood became the first player in major league history to play and get a base hit for two different teams in two different cities on the same day.

In the afternoon, his hit drove in the winning run for the New York Mets in a 7-4 victory at Chicago. After the game, he was traded to the Montreal Expos, whom he met that night in Philadelphia. He entered the game in right field in the fourth inning and later got his other hit.

Note: The hits came off Ferguson Jenkins of Chicago and Steve Carlton of Philadelphia, giving Youngblood the added distinction of facing two pitchers already in the 3,000-strikeout club on the same day. Today, Youngblood and Carlton are teammates in San Francisco.

Take-a-deep-breath dept.: From a Newsday story on quarterback Pat Ryan’s performance for the New York Jets in a scrimmage against Washington: “Ryan was sacked when rookie guard Sal Cesario, a 12th-round pick from California Polytechnic State University San Luis Obispo, was beaten.”

You know it as Cal Poly SLO.

Cincinnati Manager Pete Rose, on outfielder Eric Davis: “He is the fastest man I’ve ever seen in baseball. I’d pay to see him race Carl Lewis.”

How long did it take for Kansas City to send 15 batters to the plate in the seventh inning Saturday at Boston? Said Peter May of the Hartford Courant: “Italian governments have risen and fallen in less time.”

Trivia Answer: Winfield was arrested after the game against the Blue Jays for “cruelty and causing unnecessary suffering to animals.” During warmups, he struck a seagull with a throw, killing the bird, which is on Canada’s endangered species list. Winfield was showered with trash and booed throughout the game. The charges were eventually dropped.

Said Yankee Manager Billy Martin after the game: “This was the first time all year that Winfield has hit the cut-off man.”

Quotebook

Philadelphia Eagles Coach Buddy Ryan, asked if he and Mike Ditka have talked since Ryan left as an assistant coach with the Chicago Bears: “We never talked when I was in Chicago.”