‘The Leopards vs. the Baboons’

In his parody on the debate over the Strategic Defense Initiative, Alan Neidle overlooked a very important aspect of the story of “The Leopards vs. the Baboons.”

You see, within this community of baboons there lived a rather large family of Red-tail baboons. This particular family of baboons was not only opposed to the idea of building a strategic defensive net over the community, but had in the past opposed many other efforts on the part of the baboon leader and his supporters to protect the community from the bloodthirsty leopards.

For example, the baboon leader had proposed to send baboon warriors on the search-and-destroy missions to kill any bold and adventuresome baby leopards that strayed away from the leopards’ den. “After all,” protested the Red-tails, “leopards are basically innocent creatures just like us and really mean no harm.”

But the baboon leader and his supporters knew better, and having very good memories of the Red-tails’ pacifism toward the leopards, resolved to construct the net so that its area of potential weakness was strategically located directly above the home of the Red-tails.

Now, those having read Neidle’s article will immediately realize that there are today half a dozen fewer Red-tail baboons deep in the jungle. And yet, to this very day, many of the Red-tails continue to insist that the only way to avoid a confrontation between the leopards and the baboons is through negotiation, accommodation, and “cultural exchange.” And they continue to worry that in order to be effective, a strategic defense must be a perfect defense and baboons might be unable to (think of everything).

VINCE CICORIA

Playa del Rey