Commentary : Finding Christmas’ True Spirit

Peer pressure to drink during the holiday season is added pressure that we all can live without.

This became painfully clear to me a few years ago while visiting Milwaukee for the holidays.

At a family gathering at my sister’s house, my brother-in-law offered to add brandy to my Coke, which I refused.

To my surprise, he made the same offer several minutes later, while pouring brandy for other guests--and I again refused.

Later that afternoon, he offered me brandy again, and when I refused, he poured brandy into my glass of Coke to “light it up for the holidays,” he said.

His gesture infuriated me because he assumed that my holiday was not complete without at least one drink.

Fortunately, family and friends were enough of a stimulant for me; I didn’t need alcohol.

In addition, my brother-in-law was familiar with the fact that I have an unusually low resistance to alcohol, and the amount that he poured into my glass passed my limit. He also knew that I planned to drive to a friend’s house later. Of course, my brother-in-law didn’t plan to get me drunk enough to have an accident, but his over-zealous pursuit of the Christmas spirit was misguided.

However, instead of starting a philosophical argument, I simply didn’t drink and let the glass sit idly by, while I consumed the true spirit of Christmas.

I played card games with other guests, helped my nephew assemble his new toys and generally savored the moments away from the pressures of college.

It was a real revelation to glance out the window at the picture-postcard landscape that Milwaukee dons during the holidays. Snow cascaded past icy windows and gracefully sprinkled across the contours of houses and cars outside.

That was Christmas.

As fate would have it, my nephew, who was just learning to walk, lost his balance and spilled my discarded drink.

And after the commotion of everyone tripping over each other to help clean up the mess, I noticed that the other guests on our side of the room had picked up on my hint.

The bottle of brandy was now idle, but the festivities were still in full swing.

At that point, it became crystal-clear to me that the Christmas “spirit” comes wrapped in the warmth of loved ones and familiar surroundings.

Unfortunately, my brother-in-law failed to realize his company and hospitality were the best Christmas treat he could offer me. And because he missed the opportunity to enjoy Christmas without a drink, I think he failed to see that the true beauty of Christmas was sitting in his living room, all around him.

I won’t be going home for Christmas this year.

But the memories of Christmas past are enough to comfort me while separated from my family, especially the Christmas when I learned that the true spirit of holidays is not in a bottle.