Orangewood Is Not Home, but It Will Do for Christmas

Colored lights decorate the cottage roofs. Tinsel and candy canes hang from Christmas trees. Inside the gym, a makeshift fireplace bears stockings and a huge sign saying, “Merry Christmas.”

In the kitchen, at least 10 turkeys are being prepared for a special Orange County family: the children of Orangewood Children’s Home.

At any given time at least 150 are at the county’s shelter for abused, abandoned or severely neglected children--some for only a few hours, others for months.

Christmastime is bittersweet for the 159 children, ages 2 days to 18 years, who are there now. Like all children, they have been looking forward to the holidays, the expectation of receiving gifts and all the excitement. But they are sad, angry or both about not having their own families to spend the day with.

“No matter how tragic the situation they came from was or the abuse they suffered, there is still that bond between child and mom and dad,” said Robert Theemling, Orangewood’s director. “We try to create a warm place here. But we can’t replace the parents.”

Little Kenny is among the children separated from his parents at this traditional time of togetherness.

Severely Neglected Boy

The energetic blond, blue-eyed 2-year-old is spending the holidays at the shelter in the City of Orange instead of with his family because he was severely neglected by his mother. His entire body was covered by a rash when he arrived--the result, counselors said, of his mother’s leaving the same diaper on him for as long as three days.

Kenny’s diet so lacked necessary protein and vitamins that what was left of his hair hung limply in thin strands.

“His skin condition was hideous,” said Mary DeLapp, an Orangewood counselor who works closely with Kenny. ‘He had a rash that covered his body from head to foot.”

Kenny cried constantly at first. “What was really strange,” DeLapp said, “was when he wanted something from you. Instead of running toward you like a normal kid, he would run away screaming.”

The Orangewood staff does not think that Kenny’s mom was criminally neglectful. She still visits him at least once a week. She lacks parental skills, Delapp said. Kenny’s father doesn’t visit him at all: He is an inmate at the California Institution for Men at Chino.

After seven months at Orangewood, where he has been treated with love and affection, Kenny can relate more easily to the other children, his counselor said. “And when he wants something, now he runs toward you like a normal kid.”

He is especially excited by all the Christmas lights and decorations.

“A lot of people think about us at Christmas,” Theemling said. “We have a lot of parties here before Christmas Day.”

Outside groups, such as service clubs, women’s auxiliaries and business organizations have given parties. The children were recently treated to a performance of the play “A Christmas Carol.”

Theemling is grateful the community puts the home near the top of its list when remembering the less fortunate at Christmas. “They are real generous with us,” he said.

Santa’s Special Trip

Individuals and organizations have been delivering presents to Orangewood since Dec. 1. In one room, stuffed animals, toys and clothes waited to surprise the children this morning.

Santa Claus made a special trip to Orangewood on Christmas Eve and left gifts that had been donated to the home.

“We typically get more of the cute stuff donated,” Theemling said, “like little stuffed animals. We could use more of the things (year-round) that appeal to the older children and teens.” Older girls enjoy costume jewelry and makeup kits, he said, while boys like Tonka trucks, skateboards or large radios.

The children will spend today like many others do--enjoying their presents. Christmas dinner will be traditional. “Our head cook insists on it,” Theemling laughed. “No matter how difficult it is, he just won’t have pre-carved turkey or turkey rolls. He gets all of these turkeys, lines them up, and then the cooks will go down the row and asks each kid what piece they want. We go the whole nine yards. It is quite a sight!”

Although Christmas at Orangewood may be a happy occasion, many children’s futures are uncertain.

Some will return to the custody of their parents, who will then be monitored by the county to make certain their parenting skills have improved. Others will be placed with relatives. The remainder will go to foster or group homes, and the smallest percentage of the children will be adopted.

Shoring Up the Home

“We try to get parents to improve their parenting skills,” Theemling explained. “We would rather put a child back into that home and shore up that home than to take the kid out.”

Among the children are babies, barely days or months old, who suffer the legacy of drug withdrawal because their mothers were addicts.

“See that other baby over there,” said a staff member in the nursery as she fed a 3-month-old swathed in blankets to fight off the chills addiction brings. “She is only 7 days old, and she is about the same size as this one.”

Occasionally on the playgrounds, a youth with sullen and angry eyes will walk by.

“Most of our kids come here angry,” Theemling said. “That anger may not be directed at us, but we feel it sometimes.”

Once the children are at Orangewood for a while, many begin to look like any others--happy, carefree, energetic and well fed. “A few of the times, you will see a child with bruises,” said Theemling. “But the bruises do heal. The real tragic abuse is the kind you don’t see, the emotional abuse.”

An Unknown Future

Kenny and the rest of the children, for the most part, have not had very merry lives. But during the holidays all that changes, at least for a little while. The little boy who romped in the bright sunshine days before Christmas is scheduled to leave Orangewood soon and will be placed in a group home. It is not known where he will go from there. That will be decided by the courts.

Kenny’s mother, who still retains custody, is undergoing counseling to improve her parenting skills.

“He deserves a chance,” Theemling said. “He sure doesn’t deserve to spend his life in foster homes.”