Making a Pitch for Fun, Games No Laughing Matter

It’s automated, fabricated, updated and syndicated. It’s the new look in the good old-fashioned summer fair.

Everything from mud-bogging to Cajun cooking is on display this week at the Town & Country Hotel Convention Center for 1,500 fair managers and directors from the western half of the country and Canada.

Unfortunately, the general public will have to wait until the county fair comes to town to savor the sights, sounds and smells of the midway gimmickry and the fast-food stands because the preview is in a closely guarded compound. At the Mission Valley center, stilt walkers and automated marionettes vie for the attention of the fair bigwigs who will decide which of the dozens of hopefuls will take their places on the midway and exposition stages.

Some of the new acts bidding for the big time at Western fairs and expositions include an automated palm reading machine that, for a quarter, delivers 10 not uncomplimentary comments about the palm-owner’s personality.

Automation at its finest came in the form of animal and clown marionettes--robots really--that drove toy cars and tricycles around the crowded patios of the convention hall, startling delegates with their brash comments (via remote speaker) and rash driving.

Some of the newer attractions include L.E. Gator, a human imposter in a bright green alligator suit with a penchant for shaking hands and walking into walls; a full-sized helicopter in bright red that gave 4,000 spectators the big picture of the Ventura County fair last year, and an inflatable castle designed for youngsters to bounce around in.

The golden oldies are there, too. The popcorn machine with its tempting aroma, the pony rides, the clowns, the candy counters, the glitter of jewelry, the fuzzy stuffed toys and, looking familiar but out of place, the Encylopaedia Britannica display. But the carnival rides and mini-midway were no-shows, erased because of the high price of liability insurance.

Youngsters, lucky enough to be offspring of exhibitors or fair officials, spent blissful hours among the mass of exhibits while their parents drifted off to the more serious business of politicking for longer racing dates or sealing a mid-July deal for a Northern California fair.

It is not all “work” for convention delegates. They are being treated to a variety of extracurricular activities by exhibitors: golf and tennis tourneys, aerobics, whale-watching trips, a dinner cruise and endless happy hours, coffee breaks and hospitality suites.

Breaking into the fair circuit is tough because of the competition and the already established regulars, but dozens of hopefuls are paying $500 to show off their talents to the fair officials in hopes of gaining a foothold in the foot-loose life of the fair circuit.

Betty Henner and her husband, Lucky, are taking a chance this year on Cajun cooking, importing spices and chefs from the Louisiana bayou to tempt Western taste buds. The couple, who already have a profitable concession selling western hats to Westerners, are serving up red beans, rice and Cajun sausage to fair officials who never met a Cajun or saw a bayou. So far, Betty Henner said, they have bookings for Indio’s Date Festival in February and a Phoenix county fair in March, plus plenty of nibbles.

Even more exotic is the product offered by Bob Lowrey and Dick Davi. They take kibble-sized bits of what was once an Idaho russet potato, put them in a machine and, in a matter of seconds, out come reconstituted french fries that require only a 90-second browning. As an encore, the pair can produce the same product shaped as camels, bears, rhinos, elephants, chickens and even dolphins. They are selling the potato-making machines, not the potatoes, with a patter that draws in a crowd like a carnival pitchman.

But the biggest magnet in the ballroom is the Black Knight, a massive 4-wheel-drive truck touted to climb and crush an average-sized house (built for the occasion) or climb a mountain of cars on fire. Unfortunately, Mike Brady explained, lack of space and suitable demolition targets prevented him from demonstrating his monster.