Former Met Knight Enthusiastic About Playing for Orioles

In his first day in an Oriole uniform--well, standing beside it actually--Ray Knight broke one of Eddie Murray’s records.

Most words, career.

Knight’s as cute as a Cabbage Patch Kid all grown up and he talks so much--bubbling with cheerful enthusiasm, nonstop candor and a freeform logic all his own--that he makes Joe Theismann seem depressed.

Ray Knight didn’t want to be a free agent, you understand, not after being most valuable player of the World Series for the New York Mets, but that’s just how it worked out, you see, because he wants to play only two more years before retiring to house husbandry with Nancy Lopez and the kids, but he wants to be assured a full-time job and lots of appreciation in the meantime, and you really ought to get that $800,000 contract offer from the Mets out of your heads since he’s come to Baltimore as a matter of principle because, frankly, the Mets just plain made him mad and he bowed that Georgia neck and took a pay cut of about $300,000 a year to show ‘em he’s man of his word and he doesn’t care if you believe that or not ‘cause it’s dead-flat straight-arrow true.

Just like him.

Simultaneous translation available upon request at a slight extra cost.

Also, even though Knight has lost some of his range at third base and his arm’s had surgery and he doesn’t think he’s the smartest guy in the world, he wants you to know that he can smoke any pitcher who ever lived, that if he gets 400 at bats he’ll hit .300 (but if he’s a utility man, mark him down for .220 tops) and that all those fist fights last year were a mistake, but he’d do it again if you made the mistake of hittin’ him in the elbow with heat or callin’ him a name.

Knight opened some eyes Friday at Memorial Stadium. Specifically those of General Manager Hank Peters and new Manager Cal Ripken Sr. These two old school gentlemen, who buy their words once a year at a George Washington’s Birthday sale, and then use them frugally to make sure they won’t run out, looked at Knight as though he were a nuclear reactor approaching meltdown. What would he say next?

As Knight divulged his new salary and every detail of his controversial dealings with the Mets--tossing in that he was “embarrassed, well, more shocked” at how low the Oriole offer had been--he suddenly explained, “You’ll learn I’m very honest about things.”

If Knight left his body to science, it could be packaged and resold as truth serum. For instance, did you know that in New York--no knock on New York, mind you--that Ray and Nancy’s home was robbed last season and all of Nancy’s jewelry was stolen. Ray likes to visit those big towns where you can stay out until 4 a.m. (though he doesn’t do that very often, mind you; he doesn’t even drink or smoke, never has, doesn’t even know what peer pressure is) but at heart, he likes a place like Baltimore much better, especially after he studied the team’s roster and decided that they could go from last place to the pennant real fast, just like Hank Peters says.

It’s true that the Orioles have lost Rick Dempsey, but if the team desperately needs someone to climb the screen barehanded, or crawl under the infield tarp to save a grounds crewman, or lipsync a rock video at home plate or maybe just fatlip some guy who really deserves it, it now seems likely a volunteer can be found.

In their post-season evaluation, the Orioles decided that what they needed most was more people who, in Peters’ words, had “character, dedication, a good attitude, a real commitment.” When you’ve decided that, basically, you had a gifted ballclub that quit in the last two months, you sign people like Rick (The Rooster) Burleson and Knight.

“Wither the Orioles?” stumps the band these days. But, with Knight in the infield, at least there’ll be chatter.

“We passed up some people with better statistics, but we got some new people who will have instant acceptance with both teammates and fans because of the kind of people they are,” said Peters.

What Knight has he seems to possess in quantities that might result in hospitalization for the average human. If he could just sprinkle a little of it over a whole team, it couldn’t hurt. “I don’t have great talent, but I want to play so badly . . . I never come in with my head down . . . I love to work,” he said. “I love to play the game . . . I do what the manager says. I’m not a selfish person. I’m a listener . . . and I’m loyal.”