He Deserves Medal for Working With Them

One would think the job of baseball commissioner would be a piece of cake after the monumental task of putting on an Olympic Games, but Peter Ueberroth will tell you otherwise.

Speaking to a group of businessmen in St. Louis, Ueberroth said: “Who in their right mind would accept a job with George Steinbrenner, Ted Turner and Marge Schott’s dog as your boss?”

Wait a Minute: Said Michael Spinks after disposing of Gerry Cooney Monday night: “Now all the little people can stand up and feel proud.”

Spinks is 6-2 1/2 and 208. That makes him a half-inch taller than William (Refrigerator) Perry and eight pounds heavier than Dominique Wilkins.

Add Cooney: He was generally saluted for putting up a gallant stand, but Kevin Rooney, trainer of Mike Tyson, said he thought Cooney quit. The way he saw it, Cooney wasn’t trying to win, just trying to get out of there.

That recalls what the late Cus D’Amato had to say after watching the films of Cooney’s knockout loss to Larry Holmes.

“Cooney is what we called in the old days, a ‘game quitter,’ ” D’Amato said. “This is to say that he won’t lay down, but he’ll take punishment. But he’ll quit as far as winning the fight is concerned.

“Cooney would not compete and he felt he wasn’t going to win that fight. He wasn’t trying that hard. The fight was close, closer than we originally thought.”

Trivia Time: What did Dick Howser have in common with actor Burt Reynolds and football coach Lee Corso? (Answer in column 4.)

How bad was Tom Seaver in a simulated game against New York Met teammates Tuesday? Bill Almon, a lifetime .256 hitter, tagged him for five hits, three of them doubles.

Toronto’s Jesse Barfield, who led the majors in home runs last year with 40, went 4 for 5 Tuesday night but none of the hits were homers. They were all singles.

Explained Barfield: “I’ve been dreaming a lot of Pete Rose lately. Maybe I should have been dreaming of Hank Aaron.”

New York Giant linebacker Lawrence Taylor, a golf nut, has been spending 28 days out of every month on the links, according to his agent.

Says Sandy Keenan of Newsday: “He tells his wife Linda he’s going out to do a little work in the garden, then arrives home 18 holes later.”

How far does he hit the ball?

Wrote Keenan after watching the him in a pro-am at Northville, N.Y.: “When the 6-3, 248-pound Taylor lands a driver square to ball, it often doesn’t stop revolving for 300 yards. Taylor’s longest drive was on the par-4, 415-yard ninth, a dogleg right. His drive cut the corner and landed about 380 yards from the tee, but he had to settle for a bogey. His longest drive is 427 yards, a wind-aided launch during Super Bowl week. (He has witnesses.)”

Jack Sheppard of the Dallas Times Herald, on the Chicago Bear quarterback situation: “The early line on the final depth chart is that Jim McMahon will return as the starter, Doug Flutie will become the backup, despite a horrendous minicamp, and Jim Harbaugh will push both Mike Tomczak and Steve Fuller off the roster.”

Trivia Answer: They were classmates at Florida State.

Quotebook

Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post, on the shortage of fights Gerry Cooney had before meeting Michael Spinks: “Bill Laimbeer has fought more than Cooney.”