Some Bittersweet Memories of Life With Father : A Fast-Food Lesson

Father. Fathers loved and fathers feared, close fathers and distant fathers, famous fathers and “ordinary” fathers. No matter what the relationship, he’s special. In the remembrances that follow, Times writers tell something of what that relationship has meant.

McDonald’s was not around when I was a kid.

If there had been a McDonald’s, however, my father would have taken me there.

He was, and is, a great proponent both of having a good time and of letting kids do just what they want. Extra cotton candy at the circus, staying out to see the second half of a double feature, making sure that instead of choosing between two presents, the kid gets them both--that’s Ray’s style. Somehow--in a way I have been unable to match--the good time always turned out to be reasonable, thoughtful and exactly what an adult would have figured out in the first place.

I realized how special Ray was when my son Mike was around 5 and we were spending a vacation back in Philadelphia with the folks. Ray and Mike went off for lunch to McDonald’s.

The problem arose in that they didn’t come back. Not after an hour, not after two hours, not indeed until almost three hours.

Two Happy Guys Returned

Late, late in the afternoon the two happy guys wondered in, looking surfeited with fries and burgers. Also with a tale to tell.

Seemed that Ray realized that Mike just wasn’t very confident about speaking out in public. In fact, like a lot of other 5-year-olds, the idea of ordering up his own Happy Meal just froze him.

“Just tell the guy behind the counter what you want,” Ray told Mike.

Mike said, no, he was too nervous.

“Do you think if we wait a few minutes, you could do it?” asked Ray.

“Maybe,” Michael replied.

“OK,” Ray said, “I’ll get us some fries to hold us over. But we won’t eat lunch until you get ready to order it.”

The guys ate a lot of fries.

But somewhere, around 3:30, Mike ordered up, “just like a big guy,” Ray explained, with a graceful smile, having helped him over that hurdle.

Hey, Pop, thanks--from Mike and me. And please pass the fries.