Some Call Him Jerk, Not Joker

Dave Kingman, making a comeback with Phoenix of the Pacific Coast League, told Kevin Simpson of the Denver Post that he’s been misunderstood by the media.

“People close to me know the way I am,” he said. “I’m a practical joker. I’m always playing a joke. Some people can’t take a joke.”

One of his jokes was to dump a 10-gallon bucket of ice over the head of reporter in the clubhouse. Another was to send a small box containing a rat to a woman reporter in the press box.

Funny, but nobody laughed.

“He’s misunderstood,” broadcaster Bob Waller said. “People don’t have the realization of just how big a jerk he really is.”

Add Kingman: Here’s what a couple of ex-teammates had to say about him:

--Bill Caudill, Chicago Cubs: “He was like a cavity that made your whole mouth sore.”

--John Stearns, New York Mets: “He has the personality of a tree trunk.”

Wait a Minute: According to Jayson Stark of the Philadelphia Inquirer, when Mets announcer Ralph Kiner heard that Sachio Kinugasa had eclipsed Lou Gehrig’s record in Japan, he said: “That is because the fences are a lot shorter over there.”

Stark: “Right you are, Ralph old buddy. Only one trouble. The record Kinugasa broke wasn’t Gehrig’s home-run record. It was his record for playing the most consecutive games. And the games over there are exactly the same size as ours.”

Trivia Time: Before Cal Ripken Jr. played shortstop and Billy Ripken second base for Baltimore, had brothers ever played the keystone positions for the same team at the same time in the big leagues? (Answer below.)

From Philadelphia Phillies President Bill Giles, calling himself an equal-opportunity employer: “I’ve always rooted for the minorities. I keep telling our scouts I want a Jewish pitcher and an Italian center fielder--just like Sandy Koufax and Joe DiMaggio.”

Question of the Day: Would Marcus Allen block for Bo Jackson in the Raider backfield? He’s blocked for a Heisman Trophy winner before. In 1979, when USC tailback Charles White won the award, Allen was the fullback.

In a charity golf tournament at Denver, one of the foursomes included coaches Mike Ditka of Chicago and Dan Reeves of Denver, along with quarterbacks Jim McMahon and John Elway.

Ditka shot an 80, followed by Reeves at 81, Elway at 83 and McMahon at 91.

McMahon, according to Todd Phipers of the Denver Post, soothed his feelings during the ordeal “with a variety of malted beverages.”

Another BYU product, Danny Ainge, fared better in the Greater Hartford Open pro-am. He shot a 76, beating out Michael Jordan, who had a 79.

Add Ditka: Calling his relationship with McMahon strange and wonderful, he said: “He’s strange and I’m wonderful.”

Trivia Answer: In 1956, twins Eddie and Johnny O’Brien, who had been basketball stars at Seattle University, played shortstop and second base for the Pittsburgh Pirates. In 1945, Granny and Wes Hamner played the positions for the Philadelphia Phillies.

Quotebook

Lee Trevino, who will be seeking his third British Open title at age 47: “You know the first three things that go for a golfer? His nerves, his memory and I can’t remember the third.”