Kansans Choke, So Buckeyes No. 1 : THE COLLEGES

After the disappointing 17-17 tie between Kansas and Kansas State in a special Bottom Ten cage-match showdown (the fans were caged in so they couldn’t leave the game early), Ohio State was named to the No. 1 position.

The Blackeyes, winless for weeks, lost to previously unknown Wisconsin, 24-26, prompting Coach Earle Bruce to say: “If I felt this way on Friday, I think I’d get out of coaching.” Careful, Coach.

Morale is obviously down at Ohio State, especially with the persistent rumors that the school plans to officially turn pro and move to either Jacksonville, Fla., or Memphis, Tenn.

The Rankings:

Team, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. Ohio State (0-2)* 24-26, Wisconsin Iowa 2. (Tie)Kansas Tied K-St., 17-17 Okla. State 2. Kansas St. Vice Versa Iowa State 4. Dartmouth (2-6) Def. Columbia Brown 5. Ga. Tech (2-7) 14-23, Virginia Idle 6. Okla. (9-0)** Def. Okla.St. Missouri 7. Ole Miss St (3-6) 19-30, Tulane LSU 8. Texas (4-4) 40-60, Houston TCU 9. N’western 24-52, Iowa Purdon’t 10. BYU (6-3)*** Def. S.D. St. UTEP

11. Maryland (No. 1 on Mr. Blackwell’s list by showing up against Penn State in black jerseys); 12. Middle-Aged Miss (3-6); 13. Bill & Mary (4-5); 14. Oregon State (2-7); 15.-18. Pentagon (Army, Navy, Air Force, VMI) (14-23); 19. LSU (7-1-1); 20. Arizona (for indecisiveness) (4-3-2).

*0-2 since Oct. 25, 1987.

**Selectors had no choice after Coach Barry Switzer said: “We are a broken-down team.”

***For Brigham Young refusing to stop the game or make an announcement when visiting quarterback Todd Santos broke the all-time National Collegiate Athletic Assn. career passing record.

ROUT OF THE WEEK: Virginia Tech (1-8) at Miami (Fla.) (7-0) (Warning: Kids, don’t try what Virginia Tech is going to do).

CRUMMY GAME OF THE WEEK: Northwestern (1-7-1) at Purdon’t (2-6-1).

QUOTEBOOK: One backer of the Ohio State coach said: “I want to tell you something. I have no problem with the record Earle Bruce has.” The speaker: Earle Bruce.

MR. SENTIMENTAL: BYU Coach LaVell Edwards, on one reason he asked that last Saturday’s game not be stopped when Santos broke the record: “When we stopped the game last year for CSU (when Colorado State running back Steve Bartalo set a conference rushing record), we lost all the momentum and it took us out of a tight game.” BYU lost that game, 24-20.

THE PROS With nearly every team in the National Football League sporting a 4-4 record, the league was plagued with its worst shortage of losers in half a century, leaving the Bottom Ten in many areas desperate for a good rout, or at least a few disastrous fumbles and interceptions.

One 4-4 team stood out, however. Tampa-at-Bay, recalling the glory days when it lost its first 26 games, blew a 25-point, fourth-quarter lead to the Phoenix Cardinals and lost, 28-31. It was the greatest collapse in NFL history, not counting any sack by William (Refrigerator) Perry.

The L.A. Lambs, of course, never blow any leads, mainly because they never have any. Lacking a replacement for running star Eric Dickerson, the Lambs may yet have to take Dickerson’s helpful suggestion: “Let him (Coach John Robinson) run 47 Gap.”

Along with Gatorade, whose image has suffered since the destruction of the N.Y. Ants (2-6), Ralston-Purina has been stung by the plea of Cleveland Coach Marty Schottenheimer for fans to stop throwing dog biscuits at the Browns’ defensive team, known as the Dogs. The players have to watch their weight, you know.

The Rankings:

Team, Record Last Loss Next Loss 1. Tampa-at-Bay 28-31, Phoenix Minnehaha 2. L.A. Lambs (1-7) 14-31, N.Orleans Phoenix 3. K.C. Leafs (1-7) 16-17, Pitt N.J. Jets 4. Cincinnati (2-6) 14-20, Miami Atlantis 5. (Tie)Atlantis (2-6) 3-38, Cleveland Cincinnati 5. Irwindale (3-5) 20-31, Minnehaha San Diego

Middle Ten Ranking: 1. (Tie) Miami, Indianapolis, New England, Buffalo, N.J. Jets, anyone else in AFC East (all 4-4).

CRUMMY GAME OF THE WEEK: Cincinnati (2-6) vs. Atlantis (2-6).

SPECIAL CITATION: Atlantis set what is believed to be an NFL record for longest drive without scoring (10 minutes 12 seconds) during the first quarter against Cleveland.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW DEPT.: Is Kenny Stabler making a comeback? In first half of the Irwindale-Minnehaha game Sunday, as the Raider quarterback was being sacked, NBC’s Dick Enberg cried: “And Stabler goes down!”