Self-Sufficiency Allows Battered Woman to Pick Up the Pieces of Her Life

Almost a year ago, Rita Bridges said, she felt like someone who had been crushed by a steamroller.

Even with her sons Christopher, then 8 weeks old, and Bryan, 2, she couldn’t fake a smile. Her self-esteem, she said, had been shattered after suffering months of verbal, emotional and, ultimately, physical abuse by her husband.

“He used to tell me I didn’t have anything between my ears,” said Bridges, now 31. “I started doubting my skills and saw a therapist for six months.” After she left him, Bridges and her sons lived in four shelters in one six-month period.

Today she is enrolled full time at Orange Coast College in Costa Mesa. A former accounting clerk, she plans to graduate with a bachelor’s degree by 1990 and become a certified public accountant.

The turning point, Bridges said, came when she met Danielle Madison, coordinator of Project Self-Sufficiency, a 2 1/2-year-old Huntington Beach program that helps single parents move from welfare rolls to full-time employment.

The women met when Madison led a support group at one of the shelters where Bridges was living. In that group, Bridges said, she found out she was not alone.

“I realized it was not my fault. Men who batter women do it because of something inside of themselves. It didn’t matter what I did. I tried to please my husband, but it couldn’t be done,” Bridges said.

With Madison’s help, Bridges was accepted in Project Self-Sufficiency because of her motivation.

“We have very strict guidelines,” Madison said. “For every 12 applicants, we accept three. They have to want to go to school. The key to self-sufficiency is education.”

Nationwide, 155 Project Self-Sufficiency programs began in 1985 with funding for one year from the Department of Housing and Urban Development. Today, only 19 remain. The others, Madison said, died for lack of funds.

In Huntington Beach, however, the program continues through grants and private donations to help 25 single parents who live or work in the city. The 25-year-old Madison, who is the only full-time administrator, has one part-time employee and 10 volunteers.

A 14-member task force made up of church, employment, housing and other community representatives helps select the candidates. Most are women, and most receive welfare, but it’s not enough to live on, Madison said.

These are people, she said, who “have nothing. . . . They come here from living in cars and motels.”

The program helps them solve the immediate problems of child care, food and clothing, and directs them to career counseling or education, Madison said.

“We try to teach them to think about goals. Forty percent of our clients don’t have high school diplomas,” she said. “We don’t want to provide giveaways.”

Rita Bridges now lives in an apartment complex that houses several other women in the program. With her monthly welfare check of $633, she pays $140 a month toward rent, and Project Self-Sufficiency pays the rest. What remains, she said, disappears quickly for utilities, car insurance and food.

Each morning begins at 5 a.m. After three hours of classes in business law, microeconomics, math and public speaking, Bridges studies several hours at home or at the library before picking up Bryan and Christopher in the late afternoon.

“I’m learning my life has value. I have a right to live and be happy. I think I’m healing inside . . . slowly,” Bridges said.

Madison has noticed the change, too. “She looks 100% different. I never saw her smile six months ago.”