Much Less of the Same, and More of the Game

Is it only me, or has anyone else noticed that the once-great Chick Hearn (who will be my guest at halftime) has gone around the bend? Chick (did I mention that he’ll be my guest at the half?) has always bounced his mouth up and down like a yo-yo on the end of a string, but if Marge heard me say some of the things that Chick (you’re going to love this interview) now says, she’d spank me.

Please, please! We know that Mr. and Mrs. Green up there in Portland and Mr. and Mrs. Worthy in North Carolina are proud of their sons; that most teams score out of timeouts; that nobody wants to see players foul out; that the college free throw record is better; that the people around the league and the crew and everybody in the world are wonderful and fantastic.

Enthusiasm is fine, but I’d do the bunny-hop in the pea patch if I could just hear about the game . So how about it? Kareem and Chick on one last triumphant tour of the league. Let’s close the refrigerator door once and for all.

P.S. Please don’t take this as a compliment for the mush-tongues at CBS.

GARY SPERLING

West Hollywood