TV MOVIE REVIEW : Botched Script Sinks ‘Too Young,’ Saga of Underage Naval Enlistee

Join the Navy and see carnage, ingratitude and the inside of a brig. That’s pretty much the impression you get from watching “Too Young the Hero,” a CBS movie no one is going to mistake for a naval recruiting film (Sunday at 9 p.m. on Channels 2 and 8).

Few are going to mistake this new Ricky Schroder TV movie for good drama, either. That’s unfortunate, because “Too Young” had the makings; it’s a dramatization of the harrowing experience of a young sailor in World War II.

Young? Try 12 years old.

That was Calvin Graham’s age when the mature-looking Texan managed to slip through as 17. What resulted, according to David J. Kinghorn’s script--”based on a manuscript” by Graham and Gary Thomas--was several months of hell on earth.

Or close enough. Well portrayed by Schroder (a long way from “Silver Spoons”), Graham gets picked on, pummeled and punished every gangly step of the way--through training, service, discovery of his secret and false imprisonment as a deserter (ironically, he then can’t get anyone to believe he is underage).

It would take a mighty effort to foul up material like this, but Kinghorn and director Buzz Kulik have managed. For some incomprehensible reason, “Too Young” starts off with Graham’s desertion arrest, and the movie unwinds through flashbacks, awkwardly hopping back to brig scenes--and throwing chances for suspense overboard. For instance, we know Graham’s not going to be killed when his ship is in battle action. The story simply should have been told in chronological fashion.

But that’s not all it needed: The dialogue and situations are consistently cliched, while Kulik’s direction is efficient but uninspired.

Given more shaping up before shipping out, “Too Young the Hero” might have been a riveting look at some Kafkaesque but real-life absurdity, combining elements of “The Great Impostor,” “The Execution of Pvt. Slovik” and “In the Mood.”

Instead, it’s a botched account of a uniquely botched military career. And the film makers can’t blame their goofs on youth.