Artis Develops the Art of Just Being There

Artis Gilmore has lost his youth, and his scoring and rebounding totals continue to decline, but at 7-2 and 255, he remains a formidable presence.

Wrote Peter May of the Hartford Courant after Boston beat Detroit, 121-110, Friday night: “The biggest job off the bench came in the form of some macho, hold-your-turf stuff from Artis Gilmore, who almost wrought Wrestlemania V all by himself with glare-offs with Rick Mahorn and Bill Laimbeer.”

Said Boston’s Kevin McHale afterward: “Ricky didn’t want any part of Big Artis. Big Artis would have clubbed him. That would be the end of it.”

Ouch: From Bob Smizek of the Pittsburgh Press: Stupidest comment heard on NCAA tournament coverage: “After pointing out a Purdue player had a learning disability, dyslexia, Tom Heinsohn said, ‘Can you believe someone that big has a learning disability?’ ”

Said Smizek: “After listening to you, Tom, yes.”

Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post, calling Larry Brown the best coach in college basketball, admits he’s prejudiced.

“I have known him for 30 years,” Kornheiser said. “He was my counselor at summer camp, Camp Keeyumah in the tiny Pocono Mountains village of Orson, Pa. More than my counselor, he was my idol. Everything Larry did, I dreamed of doing. Everything he was, handsome and graceful and polite, I wanted to be. I gazed at him with the pure eyes of innocence.

“He was the finest athlete I ever saw--not just in basketball, but football and baseball, too. A natural for whom every difficult catch, every underthrown pass, every nasty grounder, was dealt with effortlessly. I tell people he could have been a pro in three sports, and Larry dismisses it, embarrassedly saying, ‘It was camp ball. We were just a bunch of suburban kids.’ But as they’re lowering me into my grave I’ll swear he could have been.”

From Oklahoma guard Ricky Grace: “People say this is the ideal team to be a point guard for. It probably is, but then again, once you pass it, you’re not going to see it again.”

Trivia Time: When John Lucas of the Milwaukee Bucks was playing in World Team Tennis who was his mixed doubles partner? (Answer below.)

Add Lucas: Drawing from his own experience in dealing with drugs, he said New Jersey’s Orlando Woolridge has these three choices: “He can be embarrassed, banned from the league, or dead. I’ll take embarrassed.”

Wilber Marshall, on the difference between former Coach Mike Ditka of the Chicago Bears and new Coach Joe Gibbs of the Washington Redskins: “It’s like night and day. You can’t make the comparison. I talked to Gibbs, and he’s the nicest man I ever met. I’m used to someone hollering and yelling.”

The Prophet: Said Louisville Coach Denny Crum before the NCAA tournament, emphasizing the value of experience: “A freshman or sophomore guard usually has one bad game somewhere along the way, and that’s enough to beat you.”

Temple’s Mark Macon went 5 for 26 against Duke, and that was the end of the Owls.

Trivia Answer: Renee Richards.

Quotebook

Jim Frey, on his title of vice president of baseball operations with the Chicago Cubs: “I think that means I’m the general manager.”